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Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34765) - you deserved it (5423)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34091) - you deserved it (13143)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55583) - you deserved it (6878)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42051) - you deserved it (11543)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50266) - you deserved it (12053)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

#21098357
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40433) - you deserved it (2567)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:42am - work - by ClaustrophobicNightmares - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41726) - you deserved it (5196)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45118) - you deserved it (5122)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38372) - you deserved it (8666)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35470) - you deserved it (4070)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

#1976
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13207) - you deserved it (3981)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Dudeman5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

#2284
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17935) - you deserved it (1697)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:16am - money - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)



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