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Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML

#19737543
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20279) - you deserved it (5929)

On 06/05/2012 at 7:56am - work - by whattdafuuukkkk (woman) - United States

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

#20149150
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20280) - you deserved it (2659)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

#8332517
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20278) - you deserved it (2348)

On 02/16/2010 at 6:51am - misc - by fmlpgh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML

#18638561
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20276) - you deserved it (3857)

On 12/28/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the military base to save $10 on a haircut. On the way out the gate, the glare of the sun blocked my view of a star barrier. Instead of saving $10 on a haircut I now owe a $500 deductible to fix my car. FML

Today, I was told I need two root canals. This is because my previous dentist did such a bad job on one of my teeth that the decay went through and transferred to its neighbor. FML

#19622172
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20276) - you deserved it (1894)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:55pm - health - by GrinningCynic - United States (Colorado)

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

#7364490
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20274) - you deserved it (2230)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

#20031596
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20273) - you deserved it (5352)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20272) - you deserved it (2964)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I lent my brand new earrings to one of my friends. Everyone told her that they are pretty, and look really great on her. I've been wearing them for the last 3 weeks, and no one has ever mentioned them. FML

#713
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20270) - you deserved it (1976)

On 01/05/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by sel2207 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML

#13259965
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (2440)

On 09/30/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by strandedguest (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that it takes about half an hour to get melted cheese out of your hair. FML

#17956536
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (5524)

On 10/10/2011 at 11:34pm - health - by jzappe - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit between my parents in the car as they argued with one another for a whole hour over whether or not a thumb is a finger. FML

#19388204
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (1833)

On 04/01/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by totalloss - United States (Florida)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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