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Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21277) - you deserved it (27085)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

#7158529
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (3458)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (3176)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

#13064737
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (11707)

On 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (2998)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (2638)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (1878)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

#19678592
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (5420)

On 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML

#21294808
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21267) - you deserved it (27607)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:33pm - health - by thatsureshowedme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

#6488326
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (5986)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

#19237523
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (6302)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by thatchick3333 - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

#17958269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21264) - you deserved it (2139)

On 10/11/2011 at 5:43am - work - by Anony-moose (woman) - United States

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

#20047299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21263) - you deserved it (2572)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:52am - money - by anon - United States (Maine)



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