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Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14878) - you deserved it (31071)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I gave myself paper cuts on the sides of my mouth while licking the cover of a pudding cup. FML

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14872) - you deserved it (42915)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

#851826
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14870) - you deserved it (84353)

On 04/07/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

#1409233
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14869) - you deserved it (48195)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:38pm - animals - by youwouldbeacat - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14868) - you deserved it (48439)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

#1490808
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14867) - you deserved it (62705)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized how lonely I am when I got excited over receiving my daily weather update from the Weather Channel. FML

#20086575
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14861) - you deserved it (2213)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by mstar - United States

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

#20126033
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14860) - you deserved it (10112)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, marks the fourth straight night that my girlfriend has screamed and cried in fear, scratching and kicking me in her sleep. The reason? I took her to see Paranormal Activity 3. FML

#18061589
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14860) - you deserved it (46047)

On 10/24/2011 at 5:47am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14860) - you deserved it (41134)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

#5333449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14857) - you deserved it (47650)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14855) - you deserved it (64473)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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