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Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18713) - you deserved it (16292)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18712) - you deserved it (3764)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

#20001841
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18711) - you deserved it (5248)

On 08/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by MAC. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

#20061073
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18708) - you deserved it (2126)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had two of my wisdom teeth removed. One side of my face is completely swollen, and the other is normal. I feel like the elephant man. FML

#18528725
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18708) - you deserved it (3740)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:13pm - misc - by HR (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

#19699093
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18705) - you deserved it (1672)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by joanne (woman) - United States

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18704) - you deserved it (3507)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

#13086565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18703) - you deserved it (6065)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:37pm - work - by login_eddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was pulled over and administered a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence. I was completely sober, and, apparently, I suck at driving. FML

#20401642
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18703) - you deserved it (10490)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18701) - you deserved it (88195)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

#7100685
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18701) - you deserved it (6505)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Lonely (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

#15576968
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18700) - you deserved it (14361)

On 03/31/2011 at 4:53pm - health - by BudmaudeY (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my thoughts that I'm going crazy were confirmed when I got into the shower with my socks on. The worst part is that I didn't realize it for a good five minutes. FML

#19944321
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18700) - you deserved it (4812)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:12am - health - by goincrazy - United States (Wisconsin)



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