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Today, I went to my hair dresser to get my haircut. When she asked me what I wanted, I told her "the usual". She confused me with another customer and gave me a mullet. FML

#8364767
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10755) - you deserved it (24941)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - misc - by Craig (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking around Walmart feeling pretty good about myself as I received numerous looks from guys in passing. All of a sudden a man approached me to tell me that my dress was extremely see-through. And, since I was wearing a thong, he and everyone else could totally see my ass. FML

#4178652
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10748) - you deserved it (53059)

On 07/31/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by EmBAREassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

#3355159
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10743) - you deserved it (47548)

On 06/30/2009 at 1:14am - health - by POLYBLOT (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML

#20496678
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10728) - you deserved it (53590)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10722) - you deserved it (44042)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into the park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park, when a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

#3792630
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10722) - you deserved it (63099)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

#696
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10720) - you deserved it (8191)

On 01/03/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by gabess - Sent from mobile version

Today, I really had to use the airplane lavatory. After I'd finished, the flight attendants continuously sprayed air freshener for two minutes. FML

#11959
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10717) - you deserved it (21806)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:50pm - misc - by yerbuagalapagos wonder (woman) - Ecuador (Galapagos)

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

#13701417
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10717) - you deserved it (19780)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was asked out by a guy who is doing community service because he was caught peeping through windows. I was tempted to say yes. FML

#13945112
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10714) - you deserved it (21667)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:25am - love - by ohsosad (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

#5764838
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10710) - you deserved it (25670)

On 10/10/2009 at 9:04pm - work - by SadisticSatire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

#17451682
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10708) - you deserved it (26023)

On 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by ThisGuy97 - United States

Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML

#19231418
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10702) - you deserved it (38295)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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