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Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

#19543754
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you deserved it (2417)

On 04/28/2012 at 6:44pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17242) - you deserved it (31346)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, the phone rang. I run to get the call, I trip, fall on a metal chair. Tears in my eyes and out of breath I pick up... "Hi, do you have a minute to answer a few questions? It's for a survey." FML

#1820
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17239) - you deserved it (3602)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Kika - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML

#19748438
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17237) - you deserved it (6604)

On 06/07/2012 at 3:47am - misc - by Sophie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

#20035502
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17234) - you deserved it (5777)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

#9797503
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17231) - you deserved it (41007)

On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

#19447542
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17225) - you deserved it (19660)

On 04/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by vanessax (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML

#1900118
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17221) - you deserved it (122673)

On 05/13/2009 at 11:35am - love - by your_mother - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

#5306041
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17221) - you deserved it (12879)

On 09/17/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by turnoff (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

#19397003
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17222) - you deserved it (1725)

On 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm - money - by unfriendlyskies (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

#19331009
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17219) - you deserved it (4611)

On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17220) - you deserved it (2050)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17216) - you deserved it (58157)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada



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