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Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7822) - you deserved it (55154)
On 04/24/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7822) - you deserved it (31226)
On 03/18/2010 at 4:21am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7820) - you deserved it (34607)
On 09/09/2011 at 8:10am - love - by Kevin (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7815) - you deserved it (15286)
On 10/27/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by RedFox12 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7813) - you deserved it (31045)
On 11/02/2012 at 11:39am - health - by Midnightpearls - United States
Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7812) - you deserved it (33709)
On 08/17/2011 at 7:37pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, I saw a girl walking to class by herself. I thought she was weird for not having any friends to walk with. Thats when I realized I was eating lunch by myself. In my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7807) - you deserved it (26833)
On 12/03/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7803) - you deserved it (53302)
On 01/18/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by Adrian16 (man) - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7801) - you deserved it (29167)
On 06/18/2009 at 1:31am - health - by ihpgolj (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7800) - you deserved it (29563)
On 02/16/2009 at 8:31pm - health - by LA (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7799) - you deserved it (25628)
On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/suprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7798) - you deserved it (29594)
On 10/05/2009 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7797) - you deserved it (43651)
On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Thursday 28 November 2013
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