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Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

#15102552
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10556) - you deserved it (30470)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:32pm - health - by Steve - United States (California)

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML

#20557009
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10556) - you deserved it (34061)

On 03/23/2013 at 8:38pm - misc - by Kjer (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10554) - you deserved it (24471)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, while cleaning around the house, I found a black bra that wasn’t mine. I confronted my husband about it, which turned into a massive fight. It turned out that the bra actually belonged to my son’s girlfriend I didn’t know he had. FML

#8088886
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10552) - you deserved it (23517)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was out selling Christmas-themed calendars for charity door-to-door. I rang a doorbell and a wild-eyed man appeared at the door, shouted about being "on nights" and that I'd woken him up, called me a "bell end", threw a newspaper at me and slammed the door in my face. FML

#18492727
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10544) - you deserved it (18257)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by firemansam - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10543) - you deserved it (34913)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

#374
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10532) - you deserved it (23557)

On 11/23/2008 at 3:22am - misc - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

#13687643
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10531) - you deserved it (28813)

On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went our school's football game against their rival team. Before the games started, I got my school's logo painted on my face. After nearly 5 hours of watching the game, I went home to wash the paint off my face, only to find the logo had been sunburned onto my face. FML

#5471133
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10528) - you deserved it (22987)

On 09/25/2009 at 6:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving home. It was late and I wanted to get home so I started speeding. I didn't wanna get a ticket so I slowed down everytime I saw a car that could be a cop, judging by headlights. There was a car with a busted headlight so I sped up. Couldn't be a cop car. It could. $216 proof. FML

#1999194
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10527) - you deserved it (48535)

On 05/16/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

#17899100
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10527) - you deserved it (45437)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

#6441579
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10514) - you deserved it (21715)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States

Today, it was my court date for a car accident I was involved in back in July. I had spent months preparing a case to prove my innocence. I was scheduled to appear at 10:00 this morning. I woke up at 10:15AM. FML

#5249828
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10513) - you deserved it (61460)

On 09/14/2009 at 11:17am - misc - by CWoah (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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