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Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

#16451971
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (59059)

On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was kicked out of my review lecture at community college, for "being a disturbance and refusing to stop whistling." I wasn't even given a chance to explain that I have a cold. FML

#19382867
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (2279)

On 03/31/2012 at 2:53pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I gave my two weeks notice at work. My boss sighed with relief and muttered, "Thank God." FML

#13433715
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (5950)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22755) - you deserved it (9911)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML

#14531234
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22755) - you deserved it (3350)

On 01/10/2011 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (2324)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22751) - you deserved it (2694)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML

#15104344
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (9966)

On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

#8540042
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22748) - you deserved it (3304)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:17am - love - by shwasted (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

#9047484
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (2649)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:01pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

#20153273
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (2258)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the girl I was in love with has a new boyfriend. I blame myself because I believed her when she said she "wasn't ready" for a relationship. FML

#678
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (3863)

On 01/02/2009 at 6:14am - love - by loser doctor - Philippines (Quezon City)



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