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Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

#4307488
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16620) - you deserved it (59212)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by unlucky (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML

#1694446
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16619) - you deserved it (126593)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

#2059
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16613) - you deserved it (4083)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Ella - United States (California)

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

#20051386
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16614) - you deserved it (1665)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States

Today, I'm at home sick and someone is moving into the apartment above ours. Judging by the sounds and level of noise, they seem to be opening some sort of woodworking shop. FML

#19513713
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16613) - you deserved it (1435)

On 04/22/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by whirlednews - United States

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML

#4021792
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16602) - you deserved it (48338)

On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (27901)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML

#8290111
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16596) - you deserved it (1829)

On 02/15/2010 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML

#17896857
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16594) - you deserved it (30035)

On 10/03/2011 at 4:49pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16593) - you deserved it (41360)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16593) - you deserved it (24102)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I was coming home from a date, I saw my ex standing in my drive-way. He had dumped me 2 months ago saying he couldn't talk me. To make him jealous, I made out with my new guy before greeting him. Turns out he couldn't talk to me because he had had cancer and had been afraid to tell me. FML

#3469762
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16589) - you deserved it (70950)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Foster_Em - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

#6009820
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16576) - you deserved it (4721)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by FYLyfer (woman) - United States



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