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Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

#4405675
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19484) - you deserved it (41267)

On 08/09/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

#563
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19483) - you deserved it (2358)

On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

#17981114
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19482) - you deserved it (2421)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:22am - love - by Jessy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my thoughts that I'm going crazy were confirmed when I got into the shower with my socks on. The worst part is that I didn't realize it for a good five minutes. FML

#19944321
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19483) - you deserved it (4907)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:12am - health - by goincrazy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML

#19416398
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19479) - you deserved it (2188)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:09am - work - by mockable (woman) - United States

Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML

#13794199
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19477) - you deserved it (3993)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my landlord decided to have people visit my apartment since I'm moving out next month. She had warned me about potential visitors this week but didn't specify when. I work the graveyard shift and apparently the fact that I was sleeping in my room during the visit didn't bother her at all. FML

Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML

#582
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (2359)

On 12/24/2008 at 12:56am - money - by Colin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (44970)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML

#8958709
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (2691)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by whoanoa (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need". After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

#14186958
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by yermom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML

#19969861
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (1350)

On 07/21/2012 at 6:49pm - work - by fuckdubstep51 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

#18599124
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (1975)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by ambled - United States (Pennsylvania)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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