Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18690) - you deserved it (64904)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

#17968240
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18688) - you deserved it (12055)

On 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm - misc - by Nickname (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I received an email from my boss telling me how appreciated I was and how valuable I am to the company. I wish I hadn't scrolled down to read the included conversation where he asked his boss whether to lie to me about how good I was or not. FML

#1527
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18687) - you deserved it (1685)

On 01/17/2009 at 11:00pm - work - by IHateMyJob - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

#5776
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18683) - you deserved it (7050)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by wiseoldone - United States (New York)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18683) - you deserved it (1497)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML

#20443271
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18682) - you deserved it (4616)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18679) - you deserved it (8164)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

#18387801
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18677) - you deserved it (2343)

On 11/29/2011 at 8:53pm - misc - by Geraldine - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I failed to get my drivers licence. My father was the instructor. FML

#13701806
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18672) - you deserved it (23543)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
710 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18671) - you deserved it (95094)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18671) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, after months of unemployment, my only social interaction was with my postman. FML

#17687802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18669) - you deserved it (4862)

On 09/07/2011 at 11:08am - work - by HT BaaFly (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: