Health, Food and Gross: Food for thought

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 953

You deserved it 182

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Same thing different taste

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 650

You deserved it 3 034

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 21:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 946

You deserved it 8 202

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 164

You deserved it 2 767

Guts of steel

By Anonymous - 25/07/2023 12:00

Today, my husband and I shared a chinese prawn dinner. I now have the most violent shits I’ve ever experienced in my life. He is completely fine and keeps rubbing it in my face by being able to eat his meals without throwing them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 125

Trust your gut

By no more please - 29/06/2022 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I once again argued over expiration dates. He says I’m paranoid and wasteful. I finally gave in and ate some food I wasn’t so sure of. Well, his innards must be made of vibranium because I’m currently in the fetal position on the bathroom floor after puking for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 258

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 792

You deserved it 30 918

Cook out

By zazadudu - 23/12/2008 06:47 - France

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 007

You deserved it 4 017

Gross out

By meg the mighty - 01/12/2018 15:30

Today, it's been three days since my husband decided he really wanted to try the Surströmming Challenge. I can still smell that shit all through my house, even with all the doors and windows open after the stupid bastard took one smell, vomited, and dropped the can on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 478

You deserved it 283

Stuck

By notmansbestfriend - 12/08/2013 16:09 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I was stuck on the toilet for hours after eating some questionable seafood. During this time, I watched through the open door as my dog destroyed the nice shoes I just bought, as well as the tux I rented for my sister's wedding. The wedding is in 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 266

You deserved it 7 821

Hazardous waste

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 09:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, I was taking a relaxing soak in the tub with my essential oils, when my husband walked in and proceeded to take the most foul-smelling dump ever. The toilet is right next to the bathtub, so my essential oils didn’t stand a chance. Besides that, our house has four other bathrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 148

genuinegoodguy 9

Wednesday 5 August 2020 23:38

You didn’t marry him for his brains then?

JasonThorn 19

Thursday 6 August 2020 4:14

OP, tell him the next time he goes through this because he didn't listen to you, you're just going to brick him up in there like Fortunato from THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO...

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 August 2020 17:42

Ha, what do you know?!?! Usually women who marry guys who eat things despite a rancid seafood smell are quite happy about that.

pjsr 32

Wednesday 5 August 2020 19:06

The See Food diet has apparently turned into an effective weight loss diet for him.

genuinegoodguy 9

Wednesday 5 August 2020 23:38

You didn’t marry him for his brains then?

JasonThorn 19

Thursday 6 August 2020 4:14

OP, tell him the next time he goes through this because he didn't listen to you, you're just going to brick him up in there like Fortunato from THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO...

motoikkyu 13

Thursday 6 August 2020 7:04

Bad food makes for great stories. Be the bigger person and step up when your mate makes a stupid mistake, take care of him when he's ill. If he doesn't learn from his mistakes, find a better mate.