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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (737253) - you deserved it (60898)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179 (667)

I agree, your life sucks (537854) - you deserved it (47549)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047 (1010)

I agree, your life sucks (404279) - you deserved it (241445)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425 (667)

I agree, your life sucks (402436) - you deserved it (26857)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

#14097 (422)

I agree, your life sucks (372342) - you deserved it (33185)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (335107) - you deserved it (16541)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348 (392)

I agree, your life sucks (296477) - you deserved it (22862)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783 (454)

I agree, your life sucks (294608) - you deserved it (16450)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

#664104 (329)

I agree, your life sucks (276700) - you deserved it (15246)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (268009) - you deserved it (32407)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

#366764 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (251798) - you deserved it (53685)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631 (522)

I agree, your life sucks (248872) - you deserved it (34269)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043 (391)

I agree, your life sucks (244888) - you deserved it (32735)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)