Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (149088) - you deserved it (9355)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

#1453860
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (149026) - you deserved it (11857)

On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147831) - you deserved it (21635)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147208) - you deserved it (11593)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146915) - you deserved it (7112)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I got down on one knee, and was in the middle of saying "Will you marry me?", she answered a text message. Apparently it was more important. FML

#932548
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146784) - you deserved it (9239)

On 04/12/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML

#813672
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (144526) - you deserved it (14510)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143496) - you deserved it (11833)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

#197066
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (142756) - you deserved it (16159)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (142021) - you deserved it (15943)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML

#239413
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140813) - you deserved it (6322)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Brad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139722) - you deserved it (10001)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: