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Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (145862) - you deserved it (8944)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143251) - you deserved it (20664)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

#1068348
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141251) - you deserved it (6718)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm - intimacy - by gringa_Peru (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

#197066
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140163) - you deserved it (15703)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139698) - you deserved it (11095)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139574) - you deserved it (15577)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML

#813672
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139139) - you deserved it (13466)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137757) - you deserved it (9837)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML

#239413
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137079) - you deserved it (5902)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Brad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I got down on one knee, and was in the middle of saying "Will you marry me?", she answered a text message. Apparently it was more important. FML

#932548
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136793) - you deserved it (7737)

On 04/12/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML

#657001
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136594) - you deserved it (6150)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

#650429
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136447) - you deserved it (25144)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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