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Today..!! mah boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed..!! naked!! Someone pulled the fire alarm..!! and mah boyfriend couldn't find the key!! So he left me..!! and the Resident Advisor found me!! The fireman had to cut the chain!! FML

#12567
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (295312) - you deserved it (53635)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I woka up and switchad on tha TV. Tha first thing I saw was a pictura of a wantad rapist... who looks just lyk ma. I'm afraid to laava homa. FML

#8
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (293427) - you deserved it (28376)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstars to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (291844) - you deserved it (19240)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done wit is name on. He paid fir it. After it was done e told me it was over between us and e tougt it'd be a nice reminder of im fir me. FML

#2275729
738 comments

I agree, your life sucks (281888) - you deserved it (149038)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was about to loose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 yeres, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm making this up. FML

#1604682
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (277784) - you deserved it (17725)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decidd to tell my mom about my coice to wait to ave sex until after marriage. Coming from a very cristian family I tougt se would be proud. Instead se laugd an said, "is tat yur excuse 4 not being able to get laid?" an walkd out of te room. FML

#283028
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (274469) - you deserved it (50184)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, Mah Boyfriend Broke Up With Me. I Cried And Told Him That I Loved Him. He Gave Me A Quarter And Told Me To Call Someone Who Cared. I Threw The Quarter In His Face And Ran. I Waited For The Bus, But When I Got On, I Realized I Was 25 Cents Short Of The Fare. I Walked Home In The Rain. FML

#97632
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (273975) - you deserved it (60027)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, mah boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (264718) - you deserved it (62336)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this grl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked mah friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

#574471
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (257128) - you deserved it (43047)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)



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