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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

#20720827
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43455) - you deserved it (13061)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45853) - you deserved it (12268)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55656) - you deserved it (5031)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64118) - you deserved it (3440)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53395) - you deserved it (4133)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

#20742848
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43414) - you deserved it (3956)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while at the supermarket. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed and "f you" was written on my windshield. FML

#20700486
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46377) - you deserved it (14416)

On 06/02/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47958) - you deserved it (10781)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76804) - you deserved it (3652)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48515) - you deserved it (4619)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49987) - you deserved it (5002)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30622) - you deserved it (5728)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

#20754112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54772) - you deserved it (6483)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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