Intimacy: Belly Finger - FML

Belly Finger

By ihmmil - 18/01/2020 14:00

Spicy

Today, my husband was trying to be sexy, and asked me if I wanted to sit on his "Belly Finger". Major mood kill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 457

You deserved it 320

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Same thing different taste

No kink-shaming on FML

By thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Spicy

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 544

You deserved it 6 956

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 903

You deserved it 6 510

A teaching moment

By Sensitive!!! - 24/08/2020 21:56 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, my husband is so bad at foreplay that when he remembers to try and turn me on, he digs around really hard like he's scratching a bug bite. Last time, his nail sliced my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 191

You deserved it 281

By ...thanks honey - 18/08/2010 06:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 600

You deserved it 15 041

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 398

You deserved it 6 856

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 588

You deserved it 2 696

By Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 188

You deserved it 4 268

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Spicy

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 731

You deserved it 5 873

Cut it out

By uhhggggg - 02/01/2010 17:16 - France

Spicy

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 577

You deserved it 4 335

Oh, so sexy

By quarantine15 - 28/04/2020 14:00

Spicy

Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 287

You deserved it 675

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 January 2020 16:21

Tell him you want to see if he can get it in your "Front Butt Hole." You'll both be celibate for a while.

Giritina99 2

Saturday 18 January 2020 16:44

His what...?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 January 2020 16:21

Tell him you want to see if he can get it in your "Front Butt Hole." You'll both be celibate for a while.

Giritina99 2

Saturday 18 January 2020 16:44

His what...?

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 January 2020 18:37

What is erect penis? Now l'll take Boner-Killing Euphemisms for $800, Alex.

Talented73 54

Saturday 18 January 2020 20:34

in other words, his middle leg.

hamburgerjung 23

Monday 20 January 2020 16:45

*Salutes* Major Mood Kill xD

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 24 January 2020 6:54

That doesn't even make sense - a penis isn't on your belly, idiot. Sounds like someone needs to go back to biology class and learn about the human anatomy.

peterblackmer91 12

Friday 30 April 2021 8:14

Ewwww. I'm with you. That would kill my mood too.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Jewelry Awkward Fight Kids Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Relationship advice Pregnancy Cheating Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Boredom

The Top

Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 222

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, I was nursing my baby in the park while my older kids played. A man stormed over and started screaming how vulgar and disgusting I was being, and how he didn’t want his kids exposed to “all that”. He and his buddies were all shirtless and playing vulgar music loudly through a speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 140

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 546

You deserved it 4 689

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 977

You deserved it 5 405

Today, I found out that the badly-parked car without MOT, that I chose not to report, has been moved and now blocking my car in. I need to get to the shops and have no idea who the driver is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 147

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 027

You deserved it 17 181

Today, my half-sister lied and told my mom I got a girl at school pregnant. My mom is unreasonable at the best of times, but after a full hour trying to get me to name this nonexistent girl, she's calling every parent from school to check if their daughters are hiding a secret pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 73