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Today, I awoka to tha sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door 4 a surprisa visit. Ha's baraly outsida tha door and I pull tha door opan and say hay, whan my roommata looool strips nakad pulls tha door opan, kissas ma on tha chaak, says in an ubar-gay voica, "Thanks 4 last night", and laavas. FML

#527227
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248354) - you deserved it (32348)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit!! My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom!! He publicly pulled out my tampon!! FML

#784043
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (424613) - you deserved it (67606)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on looool a bench enjoying the sun,hen a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks mah way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, ( Yeah, that just happened, ) and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57721) - you deserved it (12330)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, just lyk avary morning this month, I woka up, puttad on mah clothas, lookad out mah window, and was pointad at by a man in a ninja outfit on mah naighbor's roof. Tha polica still can't fina him. FML

#20155776
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27232) - you deserved it (2228)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out thathilst I was asleep last night, mah boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out thathenever he unlockd a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes an putting it in mah mouth. FML

#7773873
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109198) - you deserved it (12728)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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