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Today , I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you looool have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

#3095885
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40097) - you deserved it (5563)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Lucky (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbd a blue towel and startd mopping it up. The detergent hasn't staind the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. big fat FML

#3089215
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19231) - you deserved it (31824)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:20pm - misc - by carpetoops (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

looool Yastarday, on ta train oma, two drunk guys dacidd to sit naxt to ma an maka casual convarsation. Tis was fina until ona dacidd to taka a drink from is baar. Wila a did, a snaazd in ma faca. I still small lika baar. maga FML

Today, I was talking with mah mother an expressed mah slight disappointment at how many of mah friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go fir looks. You'll be fine". FML

#3084574
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (3520)

On 06/21/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza . As I got finished with a text I putted the pizza in the microwave an set the timer . After the timer ran out, I opened the door an smelled burnt plastic . Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave . FML

#3083696
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12276) - you deserved it (56957)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by TBaggins00 (man) - United States (Illilois)

Today, Ma Friend Told Me Se Ad A Stalkero Ad Been Emailing Er!! I Lauged, An Told Er It Was Probably Some Fat, Ugly Virgin Sat Beind Is Computer All Day!! I Ten Continued To Describe An Mock Te Stalker, Only To Realise Tat I Was Basically Describing Myself!! FML

#3083519
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11760) - you deserved it (49140)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by TheHatedOne (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I was thinking about how people say if you're gradually introduced to a smell or you're forced to deal with enough, you'll stop noticing it. And how untrue that is. Especially when your roommate sneak a dead rabbit under your bed. FML

#3082688
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38935) - you deserved it (2521)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, Mah Girlfriend Talked Me Into Tanning In A Tanning Bed For The First Time Ever. I Have Never Tanned Before And Didn't Know You R Supposed To Ease Into It. I Tanned For 15 Minutes In The "super Bed" And Have Lobstered. My Ass And Nuts Got The Worst Of It. FML

#3080092
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15038) - you deserved it (42273)

On 06/21/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by Crispy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, we spread mah uncle's ashes at mah grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in mah Uncle. He's still stuck in mah hair. FML

#3078686
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49552) - you deserved it (3647)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Lee (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today , I was in the basement at my grandma's house . The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement . I lookd through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on . A pair of shitty underpants cummd down and landd in my face . They were my grandma's . FML

#3078532
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40161) - you deserved it (11186)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I left my grandmother's burial to take a midterm!! Earlier I e-mailed the professor to ask permission to take it later, an she flat out said "no." I left my grieving family, an traveled hours back to school!! I went to class, only to discover that the prof decided to move the exam date!! FML

#3069327
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56672) - you deserved it (2181)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by goodstudent (woman) - United States (California)



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