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Man or woman?

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

#1832318
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73620) - you deserved it (14059)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

#1830985
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8222) - you deserved it (92043)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML

#1828109
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72895) - you deserved it (4813)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by newdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got stopped for shoplifting at a department store. They took me back to the security room and showed me the tapes. I was taking my own designer lipgloss that I had bought a month before out of my purse. FML

#1818447
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55519) - you deserved it (3816)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

#1814886
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59982) - you deserved it (3235)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

#1808488
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49198) - you deserved it (10227)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ya - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

#1807200
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76013) - you deserved it (12260)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got rear-ended at a stoplight by a woman who had been doing her make-up while driving. She didn't get out to see if I was okay until she had finished perfectly applying both lipliner and gloss. FML

#1806143
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52647) - you deserved it (2241)

On 05/10/2009 at 5:56am - misc - by disturbed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I treated myself to a spa day at home. First, I decided to do a hot oil treatment on my hair. I was leaning over the saucepan of oil on the stove when it flared up in my face. On the bright side, I no longer have to worry about plucking my eyebrows. FML

#1800001
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17169) - you deserved it (47397)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by torchy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

#1798855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45212) - you deserved it (3050)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mom asked if I wanted to come to dinner with my parents and my grandparents who are in from London. When we got to the restaurant, there was a wait. My mom made me walk home because they could get a table quicker for a group of four than a group of five. FML

#1792856
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62010) - you deserved it (2514)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:48pm - misc - by charlie (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML

#1783104
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17231) - you deserved it (74785)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

#1780717
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10075) - you deserved it (51128)

On 05/09/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by ugheffmylife - United States (California)



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