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Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML

#4942849
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41477) - you deserved it (6127)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm - misc - by LGFLIPSTER (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

#4941541
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30499) - you deserved it (4839)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Robbins (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

#4929895
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12895) - you deserved it (34532)

On 08/30/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by pootythe5th (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53676) - you deserved it (14131)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

#4927386
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14920) - you deserved it (40975)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Mirroronthewall (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

#4926734
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24316) - you deserved it (55962)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

#4926157
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38209) - you deserved it (3048)

On 08/30/2009 at 8:58am - misc - by hihipanda (man) - Singapore

Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML

#4922753
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8843) - you deserved it (58863)

On 08/30/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by rydawg79 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML

#4914313
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51153) - you deserved it (3415)

On 08/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by deadmedia (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

#4912143
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13662) - you deserved it (40820)

On 08/29/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by deven (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was helping my mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turns to me and says, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just... I want to have fun." FML

#4907075
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55024) - you deserved it (5162)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by Nofun (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

#4902280
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49114) - you deserved it (2516)

On 08/29/2009 at 8:13am - misc - by Jonnyboo (man) - United States (Georgia)



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