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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

#3763600
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13245) - you deserved it (61073)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

#3762985
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37019) - you deserved it (6106)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by blotchy-girl (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML

#3757766
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13733) - you deserved it (32873)

On 07/14/2009 at 9:16pm - misc - by dani911 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML

#3756487
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53134) - you deserved it (2155)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

#3750994
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48152) - you deserved it (8272)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I checked the facebook event page that I had set up for my 21st birthday at an awesome restaurant/bar which I had set up a week ago. Out of 39 invitees, the only person who said yes is my boyfriend. FML

#3746710
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40692) - you deserved it (4949)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

#3741978
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56263) - you deserved it (4435)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

#3741117
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71181) - you deserved it (14595)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

#3737947
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47068) - you deserved it (17390)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having dinner with some friends at an Applebees. I couldn't decide on what I wanted, and after about 10 minutes of me flipping through the menu, our waiter brings over the braille menu complete with gigantic pictures of all the dishes and says "Here, I thought this might help." FML

#3730573
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12149) - you deserved it (41789)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:39pm - misc - by CompleteWithPictures (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

#3723567
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8333) - you deserved it (59684)

On 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by iJehx (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

#3722390
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40136) - you deserved it (2430)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by jennybrev (woman) - United States

Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML

#3718227
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50407) - you deserved it (20461)

On 07/13/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by Solemnwishing (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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