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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

#3645286
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9222) - you deserved it (55477)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by ChrisC (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59016) - you deserved it (30732)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

#3639163
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5271) - you deserved it (55805)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML

#3635779
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47762) - you deserved it (3166)

On 07/10/2009 at 8:50am - misc - by icanunderstand (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, it was the premiere of a huge play I've worked on for months. The latest week we've practised a lot, resulting in little sleep. In one of the scenes I'm just lying there pretending to be asleep. Guess who actually fell asleep? FML

#3634781
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42987) - you deserved it (9431)

On 07/10/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by lol123 (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "oh, like you're responsible for a whole family." She is. FML

#3633751
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14054) - you deserved it (45811)

On 07/10/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Mezzlegasm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I rushed to the post office to mail an important document for the study abroad program that I'd applied for, which was due in a few days. Just as the envelope slipped out of my hand and into the mail box, I caught a glimpse of the upper right corner where there was supposed to be a stamp. FML

#3631450
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15464) - you deserved it (34591)

On 07/10/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by nostamp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my bosses came into work and told me that they had seen my dad's twin in the supermarket holding hands and kissing a much younger woman and her baby. My dad doesn't have a twin. FML

#3624810
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50839) - you deserved it (2119)

On 07/09/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by tor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML

#3620839
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9209) - you deserved it (84055)

On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML

#3613021
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18533) - you deserved it (60391)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by sadlife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11821) - you deserved it (51814)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I heard a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download. I walked over and showed him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file. I then found out I'd just assisted him in downloading a half gig of porn during class. FML

#3608539
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38920) - you deserved it (8721)

On 07/09/2009 at 11:00am - misc - by TingBarter (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonalds drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I decided to pull out of the line just to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

#3607672
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7889) - you deserved it (53137)

On 07/09/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by StUbbY (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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