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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

#6247099
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11001) - you deserved it (74129)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

#6246770
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6678) - you deserved it (35530)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML

#6245965
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30042) - you deserved it (3540)

On 11/10/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

#6245178
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36299) - you deserved it (3011)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

#6243414
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32368) - you deserved it (2268)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML

#6242295
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27982) - you deserved it (5234)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by ughhhh (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML

#6241973
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (4039)

On 11/10/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by ClosetMishap (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a paper back that was given a zero for suspected plagiarism. Everything I wrote was my own thought and analysis. My instructor basically thinks my paper is smarter than I am. He won't listen, even when I explain my thought processes throughout the piece. FML

#6238965
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40407) - you deserved it (2266)

On 11/10/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

#6238334
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28896) - you deserved it (14740)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Dummy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

#6235277
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24748) - you deserved it (4657)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Tee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML

#6230893
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (9336)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by LoserOfTheYear (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was turned down for a job as a cashier at Best Buy. I worked like hell to get into and then graduate from one of the top Telecommunication schools in the country. I spent all my time with extracurriculars to help my resume instead of partying like my friends. I can't even be a cashier. FML

#6228349
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30622) - you deserved it (3722)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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