Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

#8874142
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24389) - you deserved it (5730)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by smarie09 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML

#8867961
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7041) - you deserved it (47375)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed: standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my brand new car. FML

#8866144
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25330) - you deserved it (7266)

On 03/06/2010 at 10:22am - misc - by Coldflame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24459) - you deserved it (8260)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dorm had a mandatory meeting about body image. I went to the meeting and left feeling all good about myself. As soon as I got back to my room, my favorite jeans ripped right across my butt. FML

#8859688
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (4584)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by shortiem (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I'm seven months into a twelve month deployment. I called my fiancée, and she dumped me. The worst part is that two days ago, I re-enlisted to go to a unit an hour away from her house. FML

#8846079
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (2333)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:21pm - misc - by copenhagen20 - United States (Armed Forces Africa)

Today, while in bed, my nose became runny. Being as tired as I was, I decided to ignore it until the morning. Turns out it was a nose bleed, and my pillowcase is ruined. FML

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

#8843088
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (2636)

On 03/05/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by FatalxDesire599 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML

#8840238
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28166) - you deserved it (3157)

On 03/05/2010 at 2:50am - misc - by whyymee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (3504)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

#8824133
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (8835)

On 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm - misc - by dpod121 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (3499)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26304) - you deserved it (2829)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)



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