Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

#6352873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13467) - you deserved it (65151)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by omgitserika - United States (California)

Today, a friend and I attempted to jump the 7-foot high fence around his gated community because he'd left his keys. He made it. I didn’t. My shorts caught on the top of the fence, so I was forced to dangle there on a busy street until my Dad came and helped. But only after taking a picture. FML

#6351238
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8792) - you deserved it (29829)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by ohjoy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

#6351303
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22570) - you deserved it (3500)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by disheshateme (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

#6350445
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31279) - you deserved it (2063)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Bribri (man) - United States (California)

Today, I drove from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43586) - you deserved it (1925)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching and a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, when the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

#6346193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21211) - you deserved it (6659)

On 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said "how would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

#6343049
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (3469)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by shellbom (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

#6340257
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12598) - you deserved it (35773)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML

#6340029
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8118) - you deserved it (24598)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was finally discharged from hospital after being in there for one month, I arrive home to find a letter from a debt collection agency for my unpaid car insurance premium, and another letter from my car insurer to say that they aren't covering my accident due to non payment of premium. FML

#6339053
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (3499)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by Chriso (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was late for an interview. Going into the elevator, a man ran up to the doors but since I was late, I pressed the "close" button. When I arrived to the office, the secretary asked me to wait. The boss walked in to interview me. The man whose face I closed the elevator doors on. FML

#6338565
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5882) - you deserved it (52051)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by xYumix - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML

#6337825
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25017) - you deserved it (3858)

On 11/17/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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