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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I drove my cousin to her wedding. The photographer said I was too ugly for the official photos so they searched the crowd for a good looking guy to pose as the driver in my new car. No one in the crowd stopped to defend me. My mom told me it's my own fault. FML

#5642401
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49388) - you deserved it (4290)

On 10/04/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by CapeRanger (man) - South Africa (Limpopo)

Today, I was running late and realized I had locked my keys in my car. Frantic, I threw a rock through the drivers side window to retrieve them, just before noticing the passenger side door was unlocked. FML

Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML

#5640699
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36860) - you deserved it (3644)

On 10/04/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by KmartFart - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found a letter in the postbox at my new flat which ran something along these lines of: "Hi. We're the gas company. You owe us £1,229.79 and have 7 days to pay us. Lotsa love, dated 7th September." FML

#5638823
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29198) - you deserved it (3502)

On 10/04/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, after weeks of therapy for severe depression, my therapist thought it would be helpful to confess my deepest problems to my friends, to prove that it was alright to trust people. I did. They laughed. Hard. FML

#5637685
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (3495)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:42am - misc - by backtosquareone (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my computer stopped working. Me, the technology challenged one, decided to do a system recovery on it hoping that I could make it better. Turns out, system recovery means deleting all the files off the computer including family photos, music and assignments and starting fresh. FML

#5636534
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10291) - you deserved it (48717)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:03am - misc - by rebeccaremily - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got invited to a big upperclassmen party that underclassmen don't normally get invited to. I was feeling really good when I got there and saw that the girl I'm in love with was there. They stole my pants and gave me a swirly. Her reaction was to post pictures on Facebook. FML

#5633791
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33516) - you deserved it (5523)

On 10/04/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by wetandpantsless (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was trying on dresses in a stall that requires an employee of the store to have a key to open. After I took off one dress to go to another, an employee quickly opens my door, to give the stall to someone else. The entire store could see me in my granny panties and bra. FML

#5631961
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30355) - you deserved it (5860)

On 10/03/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the doctors and was told I would need an inhaler. My mom came back from the pharmacy and told me the copay of $35 dollars was way too expensive, so she is making me use my cat's old inhaler. My mom values my cat's ability to breathe more then my own. FML

#5627700
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (2196)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:17pm - misc - by juliasaman - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

#5622271
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38710) - you deserved it (5765)

On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML

#5621142
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (28974)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 9 year old little sister is coming back in town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML

#5620917
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6823) - you deserved it (55745)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by deadfish - United States (Florida)



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