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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

#21363273
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28316) - you deserved it (1990)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:53am - misc - by need sleep - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

#21363177
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23729) - you deserved it (11379)

On 02/25/2015 at 5:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, I apologised to someone for my misuse of the word 'coloured' in a discussion about ethnic minority issues. They then got even more angry and said that to even quote the word in the context of an apology is evidence of my ignorance and inherent racism. FML

#21362753
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (4170)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:13pm - misc - by whiteycan'tgetitrightey - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (2690)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started complaining how her kids keep demanding dragon stuff and that mine will start after they see the movie. I don't have any kids, and I didn't have the courage to tell her I was buying it for myself. FML

#21362244
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26191) - you deserved it (4694)

On 02/23/2015 at 11:58pm - misc - by MDoremis - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

#21361818
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32675) - you deserved it (2512)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm - misc - by looking4newvenue (woman) - United States

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

#21361801
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30530) - you deserved it (2804)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33771) - you deserved it (2894)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (4501)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML

#21361215
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (3876)

On 02/22/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by tom28402 - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43279) - you deserved it (4000)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33315) - you deserved it (7904)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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