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Man or woman?

Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long 12 hour drive. FML

#21302111
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29815) - you deserved it (2586)

On 11/19/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by honeybunny - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

#21302094
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30204) - you deserved it (5982)

On 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm - misc - by limpdick9 - United States (California)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (3252)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

#21301556
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26404) - you deserved it (5657)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

#21301400
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41351) - you deserved it (3506)

On 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by steak through the heart - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37311) - you deserved it (3627)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a chinese restaurant, only to get nervous and hang up. FML

#21300935
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25320) - you deserved it (6557)

On 11/17/2014 at 8:04pm - misc - by phonebaby - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (3134)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

#21300816
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32285) - you deserved it (4994)

On 11/17/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Virginia)

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
67 comments

Today, I was stopped behind a pickup truck filled with junk. I told my friend that the person should have secured the junk better, since it looked like it would fall off any minute. My friend assured me it wouldn't. Right after she said that, a large piece of plywood fell off and hit my windshield. FML

#21300434
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27494) - you deserved it (3004)

On 11/16/2014 at 11:17pm - misc - by pickuptruckblues - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my older brother thinks typing out a Wikipedia article for an essay is not plagiarism, because he didn't "copy and paste" it. He's in college. FML

#21300403
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28159) - you deserved it (1982)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:46pm - misc - by areyouserious (man) - United States (California)



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