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Man or woman?

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

#21446894
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10280) - you deserved it (18164)

On 07/25/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by elovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

#21446839
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22289) - you deserved it (1505)

On 07/25/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by for fuck's sake, gran (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hanging out with my neighbor. He asked me if I wanted to play Twister, and I said no because I thought it would be weird. What was his response? "C'mon. You can leave if it gets sexual". FML

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26322) - you deserved it (2736)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, I'm grieving over the death of my best friend of 9 years. My mom wasted no time arriving at the conclusion that I must be hormonal and pregnant with his child. Apparently it's not normal for a woman to cry so much over a man, unless they've been fucking. FML

#21446500
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (1643)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent $70 on party supplies for my sister's bachelorette party, another hour decorating, three hours baking and designing a cake, before waiting five hours to hear that she and another bridesmaid had 'moved' the party elsewhere. Cake anyone? FML

#21445882
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (1628)

On 07/23/2015 at 7:53am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML

#21445713
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9561) - you deserved it (33627)

On 07/22/2015 at 10:32pm - misc - by sucked_in - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

#21445547
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (4894)

On 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

#21445392
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25466) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/22/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I attended a new class at college. It was a class to help people with Asperger's adjust to college, which my parents pushed me into taking. It was incredibly condescending and insulting, and it felt like a class for preschoolers. My parents won't let me drop the class. FML

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

#21444969
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26197) - you deserved it (2297)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:17am - misc - by father-in-nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my flatmate asked me to wash the large pile of dishes on the bench, and if I would start on cleaning the house which was a total mess. This would have been fine if I hadn't just walked in after being away for a week. FML

#21444629
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23165) - you deserved it (1874)

On 07/20/2015 at 6:01pm - misc - by I did them anyway (woman) - New Zealand

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

#21444204
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (2872)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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