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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was informed that my uneven facial features make me seem "untrustworthy." Glad to know my unchangeable physical appearance doubles as a character flaw. FML

#21317152
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28745) - you deserved it (2205)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:56am - misc - by lopsided (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

#21317146
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15903) - you deserved it (24356)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33913) - you deserved it (4274)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

#21317090
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (2545)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by konacoffee17 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (2507)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

#21316969
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (3683)

On 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29880) - you deserved it (2760)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I came home to find out my roommate sold my PS4, because, "You don't use it anymore." FML

#21316533
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (2320)

On 12/13/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took my Spanish exam. One of the questions was to translate "Mark is lazy and antisocial." My name is Mark. Everyone kept giving me weird looks the whole test. FML

#21316211
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28175) - you deserved it (2263)

On 12/12/2014 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (3837)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

#21316117
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (5139)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML

#21316114
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14212) - you deserved it (35524)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:39am - misc - by well, now what - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML



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