Today, I sent my friend a snapchat without any makeup on. She asked what filter I used because it made my face look all red and blotchy. FML

by pimplesapparently / 02/18/2016 at 3:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML

by StudentAbroad / 02/18/2016 at 8:27am / Ukraine (Kyyiv) / Miscellaneous

Today, during class, a girl had suggested how I, a 16 year-old guy, would be a high maintenance girlfriend. We sat and debated this, allowing for other people to listen in and agree with her, and eventually the entire class agreed with her. Even the teacher. FML

by ThatSped / 02/17/2016 at 10:22pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave a talk in my management class about creating effective presentations and holding people's attention. Go figure, pretty much nobody paid any attention. FML

by boredtothemax / 02/17/2016 at 2:17pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

by thatcreepyteacher / 02/16/2016 at 11:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 45-year-old child of a mother made such a dramatic scene over finding a hair in her food that the initially apologetic owners ended up kicking my family out. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 3:37pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy I blocked online for sending me creepy messages showed up at my house. I have no idea how he found my address, or even my real name. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 9:56am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I came out of the closet, after years of fear and shame, thanks to my mom making me to go to a church full of fundies my whole life. In the end, I was in tears. All I got was a frown and a "So? Want a medal or something?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 8:49am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML

by nullroute / 02/16/2016 at 6:34am / Switzerland (Aargau) / Miscellaneous

Today, cable was installed at my house and the cable guy smelled like some horrid mix of cabbage and cheese. I'm pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. I've sprayed air freshener, lit candles, and opened windows despite the cold outside. I can't get rid of the smell. FML

by soapisyourfriend / 02/16/2016 at 1:53am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

by Diet_Water / 02/14/2016 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a new phone. Only after berating the Sprint employee and Apple support desk because I could not call, text, or access the Internet did I find out that I didn't need to buy a new phone. It was just on airplane mode. FML

by JavitheWrestler / 02/13/2016 at 6:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving on the motorway, I sneezed so hard my contacts popped out. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2016 at 4:25am / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Miscellaneous