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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (11529)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

#21427509
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34849) - you deserved it (3340)

On 06/17/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by Lesbihonest (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

#21427489
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (4618)

On 06/17/2015 at 8:14am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

#21426994
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28932) - you deserved it (3003)

On 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm - misc - by VHBJ - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my mom I was going hiking with a couple of friends and wouldn't be back for 4 or more hours. Not even 2 hours later, she called the cops and reported us as missing. She didn't realize that we wouldn't have service up the canyon so we could call her back. FML

#21426852
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26932) - you deserved it (2016)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:47am - misc - by use your brain mother - United States (Utah)

Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML

#21426656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (2566)

On 06/15/2015 at 7:07pm - misc - by PatientlyDying (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after 5 years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to 6 angry texts about how I'm 'selfish' for not staying at home with my family. FML

#21426395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32908) - you deserved it (2232)

On 06/15/2015 at 9:39am - misc - by happy21sttome (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML

#21426359
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (2349)

On 06/15/2015 at 7:57am - misc - by Gagging (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

#21426197
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (2178)

On 06/14/2015 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my mother-in-law kept asking for one particular photo of our baby. She just wanted to show off the blanket that she had made to her friends on Facebook. Her first grandchild was almost completely cropped out of the picture. FML

Today, I finally confronted my mom about how I felt about her three divorces. She then explained that she went through the divorces because I failed to keep the house clean. FML

#21425930
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25410) - you deserved it (2398)

On 06/14/2015 at 1:06pm - misc - by lulumars (woman) - United States

Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML

#21425895
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28264) - you deserved it (2973)

On 06/14/2015 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

#21425869
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23211) - you deserved it (2082)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by queenbee - United States (Pennsylvania)



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