Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

#21031274
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41811) - you deserved it (4898)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

#21031087
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46970) - you deserved it (5935)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

#21031005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38392) - you deserved it (4958)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my new calculus teacher taught everything using nothing but soccer terms and analogies, just so the resident idiot meatheads would understand. I didn't learn a thing. FML

#21030844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37304) - you deserved it (4386)

On 01/17/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

#21030815
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36547) - you deserved it (4650)

On 01/17/2014 at 12:35pm - misc - by my cheese grater + your dick (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

#21030662
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37811) - you deserved it (7905)

On 01/17/2014 at 7:49am - misc - by dylanhollis - United States (Texas)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65027) - you deserved it (3959)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

#21029577
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42206) - you deserved it (17680)

On 01/16/2014 at 6:45am - misc - by nolovefor21 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41806) - you deserved it (4762)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

#21028790
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41284) - you deserved it (5474)

On 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm - misc - by coop42 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

#21028633
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33830) - you deserved it (4495)

On 01/15/2014 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (3911)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, after trying for several days to change some details on the social security website, I got fed up and called them. I waited nearly two hours on hold, and when I finally got through, the guy on the other end just told me to reboot my computer and try again, then hung up on me. FML

#21027789
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41523) - you deserved it (3894)

On 01/14/2014 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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