Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

#21422763
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (1843)

On 06/08/2015 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was excited because a friend had added me to a new Facebook chat consisting of my tight circle of friends from last year's summer camp. I then saw when the chat had been created. They kept me out of the chat for almost an entire year before deciding to add me. FML

Today, I found out that my husband really thinks onion rings are seafood. He's 36. FML

#21422504
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22815) - you deserved it (2128)

On 06/07/2015 at 8:53pm - misc - by onionrings (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

#21422346
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21315) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/07/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by unhappy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML

#21422282
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24618) - you deserved it (1400)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:46am - misc - by MagnusDeus - United States (California)

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML

#21422192
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (2233)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:46am - misc - by .......... (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to wax my eyebrows. My entire eyebrow came off. FML

#21421754
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21683) - you deserved it (12419)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Eyebrowless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

#21421662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27482) - you deserved it (8547)

On 06/06/2015 at 5:11am - misc - by lehonX9 (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

#21421576
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28741) - you deserved it (1822)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

#21421481
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (2020)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:44pm - misc - by fugly - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

#21421289
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26543) - you deserved it (2153)

On 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

#21421237
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (2908)

On 06/05/2015 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after telling my mom that I'll be going to Las Vegas with my dad for my 21st birthday, she started ranting about how my dad always wanted to abort me and that she was the only one who actually wanted me. FML

#21421168
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26693) - you deserved it (1930)

On 06/05/2015 at 9:42am - misc - by Dig4life - United States (Washington)



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