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3051628

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3051628
  • Town/Country : somewhere, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5544
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About 3051628 : I suppose I can write a bit about myself. First off, my username has no true significance to it, it's an old number that I used to use for grade school. I've been on FML for a while now, it's one of my most favorite websites of all time. It's safe to say I've visited it nearly every day since happening upon it on a crappy day I was having. I'm a pretty laid back guy; I love listening to music, relaxing, and going on long walks alone. I'm currently studying at penn state to become a meteorologist. Also, while I'm not heavily into anime (or watching television often) some of my favorite shows happen to be anime. Some of them are Fullmetal Alchemist (2003 and Brotherhood), Yu Yu Hakusho Cowboy Bebop, and Samurai Champloo. My favorite color is blue and I have a deep appreciation for honesty and trustworthiness.
There, I guess that's enough

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3051628's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (7314)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out where a few of my favorite outfits went. My mother had taken them out of my closet, wrapped them, and given them to my cousin as a gift. FML

#18378086
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28227) - you deserved it (2055)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33032) - you deserved it (5317)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34439) - you deserved it (6677)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28368) - you deserved it (6754)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60365) - you deserved it (4435)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21542) - you deserved it (20510)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28292) - you deserved it (6184)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML

#17992894
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6207) - you deserved it (56205)

On 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm - misc - by mass message (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31557) - you deserved it (2135)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31557) - you deserved it (2135)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29099) - you deserved it (3626)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

#17889582
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28394) - you deserved it (3695)

On 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by rufusthepenis - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML

#17869436
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17534) - you deserved it (7719)

On 09/30/2011 at 6:18am - misc - by Steve (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

#17837739
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23126) - you deserved it (4643)

On 09/26/2011 at 6:37am - work - by gotanewmouse - New Zealand (Auckland)



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