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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (4903)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

#21279077
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33322) - you deserved it (2977)

On 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML

#21277941
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33358) - you deserved it (4499)

On 10/14/2014 at 9:06pm - love - by failure - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36718) - you deserved it (4080)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. FML

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (5117)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

#21274403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend admitted than he's been using Febreze instead of showering for the past month. FML

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34208) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48883) - you deserved it (4325)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

#21272255
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35467) - you deserved it (3666)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

#21272098
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40850) - you deserved it (4268)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:46pm - love - by kittenfish8903 (woman) - United States



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