Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML

#5939
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (11146)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:47am - love - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (2723)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

#5886
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (2451)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23871) - you deserved it (5884)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

#5784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18430) - you deserved it (38957)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by screwed. - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML

#5748
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23524) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:54pm - love - by myrie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43413) - you deserved it (353659)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML

#5393
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (8835)

On 02/02/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by JD (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend went into great detail over the Tiffany's jewelry he painstakingly selected for his previous girlfriends on their birthday. I got hand towels. In powder blue. From Target. FML

#5208
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31057) - you deserved it (2143)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:25am - love - by bewitched and bothered - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

#5134
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25253) - you deserved it (5920)

On 02/02/2009 at 6:04am - love - by unbelievable - United States (California)

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

#5133
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28725) - you deserved it (3479)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:49am - love - by murphy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (3969)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response: "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

#4982
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14247) - you deserved it (24664)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)



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