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yesterday after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to mah cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am mah boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: ( the cat is sad. ) FML
yesterday I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over mah ex-fiancé by flrting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" looool and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks fir your note, but your card was declind." FML
Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote ( Cool picture ) on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on looool to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- ( Who the fuck are you? ).
yesterday I was at the mall blasting music . I was wereing a nice shrt, an had my iPod in my breast pocket . I noticed a cute grl smiling at me, so I smiled back an as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling . It looked lyk I was rubbing my nipple . FML
Today, I made chicken noodle soup 4 the girl I've been seeing to help her get over her cold. From scratch. Everything fresh save 4 the canned chicken stock. It took an hour in preparation and half an hour to take the bus to her place. Her first words? The celery's not cooked enough. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend and sent her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML
Today, Ma An Girlfriand Wara Buying Subway!! Whan It Cummad To Ring Up Tha Ordar Tha Lady Askad Us Togathar Or Saparata? My Girlfriand Lookad An Said Saparata!! Half-jokingly, I Askad If It Was Soma Sort Of Hint? Sha Lookad At Ma An Said Yas!! I Got Brokan Up Ovar A 12 Inch Ham Sub!! FML
Today, Mah Girlfriand Broka Up With Ma. Sha Latar Cummad Into Tha T-Mobila That I Work At To Raturn Tha Sidakick That I Bought Fir Har. I Had To Transfar Har Account To A Naw Iphona. Sha Got Tha Iphona From Har Naw Boyfriand, Who Works Across Tha Straat From Ma. FML
Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this grl I really like . I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park . She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me . Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes . FML
Today, we were visiting mah great-grandma, who has Alzhiemer’s . We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were . Time cummed fir looool us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into mah ear, "You're mah type." FML
Friday 27 March 2015