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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

#3877886
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69009) - you deserved it (4643)

On 07/19/2009 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML

#3874570
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10321) - you deserved it (57003)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:45am - love - by DramaQueen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. On our way to the Space Needle I was pulled over and promptly arrested. Apparently, I had recently purchased a car from a man who had robbed a jewelery store. The ring is now evidence. FML

#3860053
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55813) - you deserved it (2930)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by diamondsareforever (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

#3851520
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34550) - you deserved it (3785)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:15am - love - by Phoebe (woman) - Singapore

Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML

#3846556
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53251) - you deserved it (6436)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I exchanged promise rings. I promised that I would stay committed to him and that he was the only one for me. He promised that he would stop seeing other woman behind my back. He wasn't kidding. FML

#3833567
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49903) - you deserved it (4800)

On 07/17/2009 at 3:24pm - love - by Shocked (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

#3830576
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29561) - you deserved it (91538)

On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML

#3827229
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57752) - you deserved it (9469)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got back from a romantic vacation at a fancy hotel with my boyfriend of 6 months. After a steamy love session, I confessed that I was in love with him. Later, when I got out of the shower, all his stuff was gone and I was stuck with the entire week's hotel cost and no ride home. FML

#3824870
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59323) - you deserved it (6257)

On 07/17/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Stranded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML

#3811943
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43408) - you deserved it (5089)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:05pm - love - by CityGirl (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because "god told him to." What god didn't tell him was that I would check his e-mail and find all the e-mails to and from his new girlfriend. FML

#3797980
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46590) - you deserved it (5726)

On 07/16/2009 at 9:44am - love - by hrtbrkn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

#3792104
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93343) - you deserved it (4822)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

#3764935
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50601) - you deserved it (3191)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:04am - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (California)



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