Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

#12577034
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40848) - you deserved it (4731)

On 08/17/2010 at 3:10am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

#12563425
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53982) - you deserved it (6510)

On 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

#12552157
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31884) - you deserved it (5367)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML

#12547774
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32091) - you deserved it (15646)

On 08/15/2010 at 10:15pm - love - by crystalpistol (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

#12536265
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41352) - you deserved it (2770)

On 08/15/2010 at 8:52am - love - by wtf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41071) - you deserved it (2891)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

#12522582
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37979) - you deserved it (19786)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

#12522579
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34097) - you deserved it (8509)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:41pm - love - by irresponsible (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I made lists of what celebrities we're interested in. The first one she listed wasn't a celebrity - it was my brother. He's spending the weekend with us. FML

#12519731
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34055) - you deserved it (3898)

On 08/14/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by Chad - United States (New York)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to hack my Facebook and "like" everybody's statuses. This includes my boyfriend's about his grandmother dying. FML

#12498783
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39578) - you deserved it (5946)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband of 3 years, who I have a 1 year old daughter with, told me he wants a divorce, but who knows, maybe in the future we can "date." FML

#12495310
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (3277)

On 08/13/2010 at 5:11am - love - by starley (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

#12492067
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37009) - you deserved it (3784)

On 08/13/2010 at 1:33am - love - by brother love - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42561) - you deserved it (4321)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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