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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML

#6113173
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33819) - you deserved it (3553)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:08am - love - by OhJoy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

#6111658
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13536) - you deserved it (25127)

On 11/01/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by CandlesSuck - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for 3 years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML

#6110361
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32233) - you deserved it (8790)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML

#6102050
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38229) - you deserved it (2352)

On 11/01/2009 at 2:02pm - love - by H4rd_Man (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

#6100945
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (5890)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad called me for the first time in weeks. All he wanted to tell me was that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place. Then he hung up. FML

#6098461
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27257) - you deserved it (2166)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:37am - love - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was playing a game of truth or dare in a group with a girl I liked. She was dared to kiss me, but then the group decided that that was too cruel of a dare. FML

#6095945
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44555) - you deserved it (3995)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:30am - love - by Loser (man) - United States (California)

Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML

#6086558
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (3916)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

#6081192
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27205) - you deserved it (10633)

On 10/31/2009 at 7:08am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

#6072093
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (4600)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML

#6066680
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33395) - you deserved it (2118)

On 10/30/2009 at 2:25am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML

#6066504
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30775) - you deserved it (7091)

On 10/30/2009 at 2:02am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML

#6060291
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41893) - you deserved it (2420)

On 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Allie (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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