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Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

#21306727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31353) - you deserved it (6498)

On 11/27/2014 at 10:13am - love - by fart - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to end a first date with the words, "You can get out of my car and go upstairs yourself, or I can come around and drag you out, bring you up the stairs, and knock on your door," because he'd gotten completely plastered in a span of about three hours. And yes, I had to drag him. FML

Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML

#21306153
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (2274)

On 11/26/2014 at 11:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30875) - you deserved it (3252)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39121) - you deserved it (3005)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34513) - you deserved it (4026)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36000) - you deserved it (6541)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, I realized that having an open relationship isn't all that great, when my boyfriend hooked up with his ex and dumped me for her. FML

#21303284
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26993) - you deserved it (17171)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:56am - love - by openended - United States (California)

Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36465) - you deserved it (3097)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29620) - you deserved it (7154)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38226) - you deserved it (2619)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31404) - you deserved it (3384)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States



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