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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50348) - you deserved it (6006)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35793) - you deserved it (7242)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49376) - you deserved it (3271)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML

#21242835
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41413) - you deserved it (5930)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:53pm - love - by flyakite - United States

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

#21242399
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you deserved it (14960)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

#21241880
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42428) - you deserved it (6907)

On 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41633) - you deserved it (3100)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (16573)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34164) - you deserved it (5686)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32724) - you deserved it (8002)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38632) - you deserved it (6113)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44384) - you deserved it (4585)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)



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