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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

#21265100
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30832) - you deserved it (9328)

On 09/25/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (2577)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

#21263839
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37293) - you deserved it (4626)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:04pm - love - by danceinconverse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

#21263789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35653) - you deserved it (2221)

On 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend couldn't go on a date with me because his mom said no. He's 23. FML

#21263362
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35036) - you deserved it (4758)

On 09/22/2014 at 8:23pm - love - by Serire (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our six-month anniversary. And by that, I mean he brought along his obnoxious best friend, and I paid for everyone's dinner at an expensive restaurant. FML

#21262754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (6403)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:11pm - love - by thnxbabe -

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39112) - you deserved it (4897)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML

#21261696
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30708) - you deserved it (5422)

On 09/20/2014 at 8:23am - love - by chubbyg - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML

#21261219
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33996) - you deserved it (3191)

On 09/19/2014 at 12:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (3518)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49599) - you deserved it (4724)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41258) - you deserved it (4339)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38569) - you deserved it (2872)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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