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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36481) - you deserved it (5577)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML

#15313960
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17352) - you deserved it (38692)

On 03/14/2011 at 10:25pm - kids - by mommylovesu (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML

#15312414
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26502) - you deserved it (10061)

On 03/14/2011 at 8:57pm - kids - by BSwan (woman) - Australia

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41747) - you deserved it (3351)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46023) - you deserved it (4206)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37888) - you deserved it (6419)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (3886)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML

#15189592
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7046) - you deserved it (56337)

On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38421) - you deserved it (3033)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

#15114722
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27628) - you deserved it (4101)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Ldp56 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML

#15106533
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23035) - you deserved it (5133)

On 02/24/2011 at 8:56pm - kids - by Gretchen -

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

#15098216
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13235) - you deserved it (31328)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML



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