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Today, I got back from my daughter's flat in Scotland. I got a flight there yesterday morning to surprise her on her 21st birthday. Nobody told her I was coming. When I got there, it turned out she decided to get a plane to London to surprise me. £200 on flights, and I didn't even get to see her. FML

#8207424
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (3953)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:39pm - kids - by gordy1220 (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15998) - you deserved it (6862)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

#8132477
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23847) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm - kids - by Rehab (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I read my mom's Facebook status. It said, "So sick of kids, can't wait for Vegas this week!" My dad, along with 12 others, liked it. I didn't even know she was going to Vegas. FML

#8129133
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19406) - you deserved it (3212)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:09pm - kids - by kbeavv - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

#8125309
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19566) - you deserved it (6674)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:33am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while cleaning around the house, I found a black bra that wasn’t mine. I confronted my husband about it, which turned into a massive fight. It turned out that the bra actually belonged to my son’s girlfriend I didn’t know he had. FML

#8088886
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10552) - you deserved it (23517)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my dad tried to convince my mother to stay with him. "Think of all the great times we've had," he said and started naming off quite a few. Too bad none of them were about the three kids they had together, all were vacations. FML

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32704) - you deserved it (4284)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27962) - you deserved it (2442)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

#8042799
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (3352)

On 02/09/2010 at 3:19am - kids - by matchristityler (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (2209)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML

#7927518
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25596) - you deserved it (2755)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:15am - kids - by Misty3242 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I grounded my son for being a smart ass. Now he can't go to the cub scout campout this weekend. He's been howling, sobbing, stomping, slamming and screaming for about three continuous hours. I am not sure who this punishment has inflicted more suffering on: my son or me. FML



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