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Man or woman?

Today, my kid made a new friend at school. When I asked her to describe her new friend, she said, "She looks kinda like you, only pretty." FML

#21372313
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129) - you deserved it (2429)

On 03/11/2015 at 1:32am - kids - by CasaDeLoser (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

#21371880
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (4586)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:43pm - kids - by LameChef (man) - Poland

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

#21369892
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (2975)

On 03/07/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny tard like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML

#21369365
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35051) - you deserved it (2881)

On 03/06/2015 at 3:44pm - kids - by single&alone (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying". I get there and he's running around, playing and admits he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

#21368524
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28224) - you deserved it (2343)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:38am - kids - by MrsRODixon - United Kingdom (Bridgend)

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29297) - you deserved it (2415)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36672) - you deserved it (2405)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18786) - you deserved it (55593)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML

#21358080
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30527) - you deserved it (9087)

On 02/17/2015 at 3:02pm - kids - by Clive81 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

#21357563
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15415) - you deserved it (35200)

On 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36364) - you deserved it (3464)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32433) - you deserved it (3310)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)



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