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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30899) - you deserved it (3456)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

#21404795
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (2820)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:03pm - kids - by JustSom - United States (Virginia)

Today, my little sister came up to me holding up my phone. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't dropped it in the toilet first. FML

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

#21402984
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28984) - you deserved it (3405)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my three-year-old nephew chose to jump out of a window and break his arm rather than be babysat by me. FML

#21401920
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (4101)

On 04/29/2015 at 6:44pm - kids - by Winxy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

#21399622
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29209) - you deserved it (2295)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30275) - you deserved it (3567)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (4017) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

#21397871
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29897) - you deserved it (2368)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:31am - kids - by ireallylikecats - United States

Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML

#21397047
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28766) - you deserved it (4261)

On 04/20/2015 at 7:55pm - kids - by ChildFree (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39545) - you deserved it (5124)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31434) - you deserved it (2718)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31445) - you deserved it (3686)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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