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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my little sister randomly came up to me and said: "Aww, don't be sad. Even ugly people can get boyfriends." She then smiled, patted my back, and walked off. I wasn't actually sad before, but I am now. FML

#21324793
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31658) - you deserved it (2807)

On 12/26/2014 at 4:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

#21323929
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (2366)

On 12/25/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by BowTiesAr3Cool - United States (Texas)

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

#21323581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (11120)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:01pm - kids - by Santa (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents refused to give my daughter her Christmas presents as an act of revenge against her father. FML

#21323347
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28902) - you deserved it (2114)

On 12/24/2014 at 3:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

#21321325
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (4016)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:59am - kids - by paparoach (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

#21321107
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26490) - you deserved it (4729)

On 12/20/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Mightaswelltutordogs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29660) - you deserved it (3180)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31792) - you deserved it (3678)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (2566)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41806) - you deserved it (2226)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27524) - you deserved it (3222)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (2810)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

#21314569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33606) - you deserved it (3612)

On 12/09/2014 at 5:39pm - kids - by SickMaMa - United States (New York)



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