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Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (14458) - you totally deserved it (3207)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

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hahha kinky freak XD

#1 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:09pm by kirbz

OP, your bf is made of WIN

#65 - On 09/11/2009 at 9:56pm by voice_of_reasonx

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

oh my god oh my god i'm first yayayayayaya. but wow that does suck OP... I dont really know what to say except for IM FIRST FUCK YOU ALL

#72 - On 09/12/2009 at 8:34pm by lakeoh

You're seventy-second.


OP:
Your fucking boyfriend wins.
I'm tired of weak bitches complaining about their epic boyfriends.

#82 - On 09/13/2009 at 4:30pm by Sessee

lol that idiot lakeoh aka #72 comment got deleted so fast! lmao! if only more dumb comments like that would get removed as fast!

#84 - On 09/13/2009 at 8:30pm by FuckMyLyphe

#72 hahahahahahahaha fyl..dumbass

#85 - On 09/14/2009 at 8:53am by Freshman

wow ydi for agreeing to it.

#2 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:11pm by Th217

You should have cast an enlargment spell on him

#4 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:12pm by PimpinPenguin

Haha!!

#17 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:51pm by JulzKay

hahahahaha

#106 - On 09/17/2009 at 10:02pm by cynthialauren

Haha! "Engorgio"! This would be the ultimate... sex pick-up line (?) for mad Harry Potter fans! I'd crack up if someone tried it on me... then probably be like "yeah sure, just let me grab my invisibility cloak..." :P

#113 - On 09/23/2009 at 6:15am by SmilingPolitely

No.

#130 - On 11/12/2009 at 5:15pm by haj

Lmao hes halarious
Fyl for not having a sense of humor

#5 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:12pm by shootingstar8D

what?? how can you use humor like that on your first time?? it's just weird... maybe later, but the first time? DAMN!

#20 - On 09/10/2009 at 6:04pm by KingAfter

People need to relax, humor is good.

#83 - On 09/13/2009 at 7:46pm by ultranonymous

fyl, indeed. thaths why there are age limits on potter films.

#6 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:14pm by cr4ckb0n3f4n

It coulda been worse.
He coulda been Voldemort.

#7 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:15pm by JoeDotPadilla

rofl?

#8 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:15pm by idfk_wtf

I love your name OP xD

#9 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:19pm by km92

Lmao at joedotpadilla! XD

#10 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:21pm by shootingstar8D

Not as bad as dracula.... Fangs tickle

#12 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:46pm by mathsponge

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

shit! my 11 year old sister saw me go on this site. now she's gonna make her own account. :/

#13 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:47pm by besad

lol i would do that

#14 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:47pm by nuttinick

hi. this is besad's little sister. she didn't log off. and I know all the "bad" words.

#16 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:51pm by besad

wow you deserve it SO MUCH for agreeing to allow that jackass to take your virginity. hell, I'm a 23 year old male virgin, but I'm saving it for someone who is right, not for the first nerd to come along.

#19 - On 09/10/2009 at 5:59pm by cmac86

Nerds run the world. You're the jackass.

#58 - On 09/11/2009 at 12:19pm by kaitlynadele

Lmao your a 23 year old virgin
What did you do in college?

#21 - On 09/10/2009 at 6:14pm by PimpinPenguin

Did his "basalisk" at least have a snakeskin?

#22 - On 09/10/2009 at 6:17pm by PimpinPenguin

hahahaahahaha i lol'd

#23 - On 09/10/2009 at 6:18pm by Tashaxox

This comment has been moderated.

#24 - On 09/10/2009 at 6:19pm by Makaloraii

more like you cant get a girl lol

#25 - On 09/10/2009 at 6:21pm by Lancerman7449

not an fml but your bf is a fuckn loser

#27 - On 09/10/2009 at 6:41pm by KiddNYC10

you should have said "no"

YDI for being so easy

#29 - On 09/10/2009 at 6:45pm by MikeLitoris

I would kill to have your boyfriend.
Seriously.

#30 - On 09/10/2009 at 7:23pm by MiniatureMayhem

at least he's really creative

#31 - On 09/10/2009 at 7:43pm by blackcatcutie

I would die laughing if my boyfriend did that, and I would still have sex with him. To whoever said humor isn't okay the first time - I would PREFER it if my lover made me laugh before my first time because otherwise I'd be ridiculously nervous.

This is hilarious. Get a sense of humor.

#32 - On 09/10/2009 at 7:51pm by caticaticati

true that.

#75 - On 09/12/2009 at 10:46pm by lolthatsucks101

I'm with cmac86. You'll be happier and healthier if you wait til you're married. I'm a 20 year old virgin and proud of it.

#33 - On 09/10/2009 at 8:23pm by DynamicDave

what is up with almost everyone having sex before they get married?

#34 - On 09/10/2009 at 8:35pm by awesomebeastuga

That is quite possibly the greatest thing I have ever heard.

#35 - On 09/10/2009 at 8:41pm by doubleAbattery

YDI for not being a 22 year old virgin like me


FAIL

#36 - On 09/10/2009 at 8:48pm by Jason_Q

hahahah lmao! that's kinda corny but then cute lol

#37 - On 09/10/2009 at 8:51pm by lilarielle14

what's up with fml. lately about charaters from movies and stuff. seriously

#38 - On 09/10/2009 at 9:09pm by blackberry1993

WIN

#39 - On 09/10/2009 at 9:26pm by baseball_34

marry him

#40 - On 09/10/2009 at 9:35pm by Sherlock_Holmes

god dammit who the fuck mods these stop letting this bull shit out

#42 - On 09/10/2009 at 9:39pm by 3arl

hahaha that's simply adorable! Can I have your boyfriend? Please? xD

#44 - On 09/10/2009 at 10:18pm by tabbycat

I think that was adorable. that also made my day.

#45 - On 09/10/2009 at 10:25pm by My_averageFML

You should marry him.

#46 - On 09/10/2009 at 10:31pm by Judgment99

I would have told him "i'm suddenly not in the mood anymore." and left. no way would that have been my first time.

#47 - On 09/10/2009 at 11:11pm by Sweet_Instance

you would have casted expecto petronum to stop his dementor from attacking and sucking your...... soul out? LoL Potter-win. I would so brag about this being my 1st. and not needing a love potion or liquid luck or anything. Engorgio (causes object to swell) and Duro (makes object hard)!

#103 - On 09/17/2009 at 2:26am by glitchead

wow.

#48 - On 09/10/2009 at 11:14pm by Sweet_Instance

agree with the guy that suggested the enlargment charm

#49 - On 09/10/2009 at 11:32pm by Jkhvista

and right when he came in the bedroom dressed as harry would have been a turn off for me. sorry, but i'm not a big fan of harry potter.

#50 - On 09/10/2009 at 11:40pm by Kay_Ell_Dee

that's beautiful...

#51 - On 09/10/2009 at 11:41pm by tumblingstardust

thats weors i literaly just finished harry potter and the chamber of secrets like 2 mins before i read this

#52 - On 09/10/2009 at 11:42pm by gangstapebbles89

HAHAHA AWESOME!!!! I'm so jealous! This is NOT an FML.

#53 - On 09/11/2009 at 1:29am by kaitlynadele

No FML and no YDI, your boyfriend has imagination, appreciate it!

#54 - On 09/11/2009 at 2:56am by Naufrage

You deserve it for dating a Harry Potter fan.

#55 - On 09/11/2009 at 3:21am by Carondimonio

This comment has been moderated.

#56 - On 09/11/2009 at 3:48am by deliapearl

This comment has been moderated.

#57 - On 09/11/2009 at 5:03am by Colinm69

ENGORGIO!

#59 - On 09/11/2009 at 12:21pm by kaitlynadele

2 things. 1, I love you. No one ever remembers the names! and 2, REDUCIO! Cock blocked!

#104 - On 09/17/2009 at 2:28am by glitchead

At least he wasn't your "Edward"...


Sick.

#60 - On 09/11/2009 at 12:52pm by Stellaritsmeg

your boyfriend is a douche

#61 - On 09/11/2009 at 3:10pm by trajikkomidy

u know i googled (w8 'googled' isnt a word? y is it underlined in red?) "basilisk" & the word "cock" actually came up.... now what may i ask is ur chamber of secrets OP? & just how old ru neway? (y do OP never reply comments on their FMLs?)

#62 - On 09/11/2009 at 7:21pm by FuckMyLyphe

omg that would be such a turn on for me XD
your boyfriend is freaking awesome!

#63 - On 09/11/2009 at 8:28pm by hanarose

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

FUCKEN FAG!! WHO THE FUCK WOULD DRESS UP AS HARRY POTTER!! WHAT A FUCKEN DOUCH....STUPID NERD!

#64 - On 09/11/2009 at 9:15pm by Yoshi181313

I fail to see how this is an FML.

#66 - On 09/11/2009 at 11:35pm by jackie_of_spades

um, wow.
this is somewhat sad and hilarious, but give him a break, he's your bf and he was just trying to make things a little more fun!

#67 - On 09/11/2009 at 11:56pm by silly_kate

WTF?!? y r u complaining?!?
THIS DUDE ROCKS

#68 - On 09/12/2009 at 2:40pm by dELiA14

OHH HUNN THATS HORRIBLE!!! why did you agree doing it then?

#69 - On 09/12/2009 at 2:42pm by caliloveex3

Oh jeezzuz. :|

#70 - On 09/12/2009 at 6:51pm by x_Leen

He was probably attempting to break the tension. I sincerely hope he tookgot rid of the Potterstuff before the sex started.

#71 - On 09/12/2009 at 7:08pm by RENTfreak5256

I see nothing wrong with this

#73 - On 09/12/2009 at 9:16pm by WFMS

What's up with people seriously hatin' on this?
I'd feel much more relieved if my boy would try
to break tension before I take a huge step in
my life.

#74 - On 09/12/2009 at 9:39pm by Mikki_Kay

"Let's make some fucking magic!"

#76 - On 09/13/2009 at 12:07am by BLEEK213

HAHAHAHA! I SERIOUSLY LOL'D ON THAT ONE! his basilisk in your chamber of secrets??!! OMGG! that takes the prize for tonight!

#77 - On 09/13/2009 at 12:30am by jaceadiane

hahaha thats pretty awesome

#78 - On 09/13/2009 at 2:52am by Elby_Shay

HAHA thats great.

#79 - On 09/13/2009 at 11:57am by insinuendo

Oh god...you poor thing. well now you know the downside of dating geeks

#80 - On 09/13/2009 at 12:11pm by MidnightMassacre

That's adorkable. Aha, your lucky :]

#81 - On 09/13/2009 at 2:01pm by ClumsyAmy

hahahahaha harry potter is so gay but that was fuckin hilarious

#86 - On 09/14/2009 at 6:05pm by mikelam94

Pshaw! He sounds like the perfect guy to me!

#87 - On 09/14/2009 at 8:55pm by VegHead13

stole the words out of my mouth, sessee

#88 - On 09/15/2009 at 1:33am by railfan

he is definitely a keeper.

#89 - On 09/15/2009 at 11:50am by overxrated

That is not a FML thing, that is MLA thing that's awesome, kinky, and damn hot! (Of course for me it would likely be something from Star Trek) But I guess if you're not into Role Playing it would be a little freaky.

#90 - On 09/15/2009 at 11:28pm by Lady_Lakura

hahah hes gay!

#91 - On 09/15/2009 at 11:47pm by Yoshi181313

Yes, he's having sex with a GIRL, but clearly the obvious conclusion is that he's gay. *facepalm*

#109 - On 09/18/2009 at 5:41pm by yruu113

ur noyfreind is my new best freind! haha jk.;))

#92 - On 09/15/2009 at 11:49pm by paramore7890

Did you slay the basalisk?

#93 - On 09/16/2009 at 10:54am by matthewstrong

How can you say FML if you agreed and went ahead with it any ways?

#94 - On 09/16/2009 at 3:58pm by Erindub

haha. mathsponge, rollplaying sex as vampires is the greatest shit ever.

but really, for your first time, he should have at least tried to act normal.

#95 - On 09/16/2009 at 4:35pm by ifreakingsparkle

Now anyone who will look into the eye of basilisk will die...

#96 - On 09/16/2009 at 5:09pm by cheenie

New boyfriend timeeee. I have heard of some weird shit during sex but harry potter role playing? Uhhh wow

#97 - On 09/16/2009 at 6:25pm by HXCxSceneKidx

Your boyfriend is glorious and a badass. I don't understand these emos whining about how weird that is. He has a sense of humor...he's a keeper.

#98 - On 09/16/2009 at 9:11pm by kurukururock

the fact he has the guts to do that, really shows how confident he is...but really? first time?

#99 - On 09/16/2009 at 9:39pm by lost_romance

lmao
that was good he is hillarois(or whatever) :)

#100 - On 09/16/2009 at 10:11pm by homy

hahahahha i woud honsetly probably laugh and think he was hilarious. unless he was like dead serious about playing harry potter in bed

#101 - On 09/16/2009 at 11:44pm by bassila

wow

#102 - On 09/17/2009 at 12:47am by EbonyGoddess

this isn't a spell, this is Spanish, but SILENCIO!!!

#105 - On 09/17/2009 at 2:31am by glitchead

lolgasmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......damnnn boy dat must of been a big turn off...lol

#107 - On 09/17/2009 at 11:37pm by LOLgasmic123

I would find it hilarious if my boyfriend did this. Even though you clearly don't, I don't see how it's an FML. Frankly, you need to lighten up. And if his sense of humor bothers you that much, maybe you shouldn't be with him.

#108 - On 09/18/2009 at 5:39pm by yruu113

Actually, Harry Potter is not gay. Dumbledore, however, is.

#110 - On 09/18/2009 at 5:43pm by yruu113

You should have been happy about that. I think I'm gonna do that at some point to someone.

#111 - On 09/21/2009 at 1:34am by acoti

haha lmao :)) xxox

#112 - On 09/21/2009 at 9:02am by MLSxxox

lmfaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo that's tooo funny!!!!! lmfao hey at least ur first time will always be memorable! lmfaooo

#114 - On 09/24/2009 at 8:19pm by MaNiFaX3

this is just like the "Obi-Wan Kenobi" one, which, being a Star Wars nerd, I thought was way funnier.

#115 - On 09/24/2009 at 8:58pm by rachel_renegade

LMFAO it's rare that I will actually laugh out loud at an FML. This is made of win xD Hahahaha

#116 - On 09/24/2009 at 9:18pm by ChChCharlie

LMFAO Was it "Magical"? xD

#117 - On 09/26/2009 at 4:22am by TLTanker182

LMAO (Y)

#119 - On 09/27/2009 at 6:51pm by Destinyx

Im a sex hound and I wouldve waited if I were you.

#118 - On 09/27/2009 at 3:26am by memmer66

MADE MY DAY.

#120 - On 09/30/2009 at 10:14pm by meganfoxlovesme

Gross.

#121 - On 10/01/2009 at 8:59pm by stupiddumbblonde

Don't worry, I'm sure it was his, too.

#122 - On 10/02/2009 at 8:08pm by AttilaLopez

wow he is a keeper. thats great. XD

#123 - On 10/10/2009 at 3:04pm by tori96

thats the craziest crap ive ever heard...u harry potter people are messed up

#124 - On 10/11/2009 at 10:10pm by lsufan003

How is this an fml? Your bf is awesome!

#125 - On 10/22/2009 at 9:41pm by mangochicxx

Lmao! I love this!

#126 - On 10/23/2009 at 2:13pm by vanavril14

i shouldnt be allowed to laugh. i can answer any general question about harry potter

#127 - On 10/24/2009 at 11:42pm by Family_Sux

LOL. SOO In my favourites now! ROFL, THIS IS LIKE, THE BEST ONE ON HERE XD

#128 - On 11/07/2009 at 11:39am by Music_Peace_1234

Omg. That is so fricken awesome. I am a die hard Harry fan, and this is one of the coolest things I've ever heard. I probably wouldn't want that to be my first time, but it's hilarious. Say what you will about Harry Potter, but you have to admit this is funny.

#129 - On 11/11/2009 at 11:27pm by I_Have_Issues

hahaha what a deflowering no romance anymore

#131 - On 11/12/2009 at 8:59pm by Nighta9

hahaha that's funny!!!! but not for your first time!

#132 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:11am by brownies

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