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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

#5741744
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (4358)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:52pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

#5737045
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (6658)

On 10/09/2009 at 8:29am - health - by StillDrowsy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

#5705079
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (11558)

On 10/07/2009 at 4:07pm - health - by Nochnoii (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

#5696976
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26970) - you deserved it (5657)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:43am - health - by Toothless (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

#5679809
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12919) - you deserved it (42606)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:01am - health - by ticked (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

#5655008
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12388) - you deserved it (36026)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML

#5640097
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45248) - you deserved it (8533)

On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

#5593248
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31117) - you deserved it (2766)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that I can't shave my unibrow because I have too much acne on my forehead. FML

#5583286
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50770) - you deserved it (9510)

On 10/01/2009 at 11:49am - health - by ugh (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

#5579268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13407) - you deserved it (41072)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I went to the coffee shop for my usual morning latte before class. When I got my drink, I asked again to make sure it was soy. The barista assured me it was. It wasn't. I'm ridiculously lactose intolerant and just spent six hours throwing up because she was too lazy to correct her mistake. FML

#5564287
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (3396)

On 09/30/2009 at 11:12am - health - by sick (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend found out that he has kidney failure. He was feeling sick for a few weeks and I had told him to drink lots of fluids and eat vegetables. Apparently that is really bad for kidney patients. I was killing him with water and spinach salads. FML



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