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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML

#5875501
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36906) - you deserved it (2164)

On 10/18/2009 at 5:28am - health - by nimrod23 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

#5867673
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34218) - you deserved it (2252)

On 10/17/2009 at 3:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML

#5861611
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35996) - you deserved it (4605)

On 10/17/2009 at 2:26am - health - by JoJo - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

#5848105
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41489) - you deserved it (2314)

On 10/16/2009 at 3:27am - health - by dentistvictim (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26861) - you deserved it (3077)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

#5826469
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37971) - you deserved it (4880)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:00am - health - by tooflufoschool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML

#5796915
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31816) - you deserved it (8049)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was my 19th birthday. My boss let me out early to celebrate. On my way home I was hit by a man doing 65 in a 40mph stretch of road. My car was completely destroyed. I spent the rest of my birthday sitting in the ER being treated for a pinched shoulder nerve and whiplash. FML

#5769676
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38791) - you deserved it (2119)

On 10/11/2009 at 1:09am - health - by WhoDoYouLove6208 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a UTI and the doctor said the medicine can sometimes make you leak a little. "Leak a little" apparently translates into peeing all over myself, my boyfriend, and his bed while we were sleeping. The doctor also said this medicine can stain your urine a beautiful, bright orange color. FML

#5769325
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33513) - you deserved it (2602)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7549) - you deserved it (107401)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that the excessive groin sweating I've been trying to deal with for weeks isn't groin sweating. It's a slow and steady stream of urine that I have no control over. FML

#5743316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47103) - you deserved it (3244)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:25pm - health - by lizzzie (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

#5741744
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33015) - you deserved it (4359)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:52pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

#5737045
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (6659)

On 10/09/2009 at 8:29am - health - by StillDrowsy (woman) - United States (Texas)



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