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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13503) - you deserved it (39140)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24669) - you deserved it (10096)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sit here in agonizing pain because of a scoliosis surgery. I have a bunch of painkillers that I need to suppress this incredible back pain. Looks like I can't take any. My mom has hidden them from me because she THINKS I need to be taken off them. I wish my doctor were here. FML

#13363376
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (2620)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:31am - health - by lmastr64 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

#13361904
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49799) - you deserved it (5289)

On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

#13355611
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (5721)

On 10/07/2010 at 3:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50966) - you deserved it (15822)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML

#13345478
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28614) - you deserved it (2854)

On 10/06/2010 at 6:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was kicked out of class for having a coughing fit. Yesterday, I was kicked out of class for sleeping, a side effect of my cough suppressant. Three absents from this class and I automatically fail. FML

Today, I missed my own surprise party because, having heard it being planned, I though it was going to be an intervention. FML

#13328394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8294) - you deserved it (42598)

On 10/05/2010 at 10:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML

#13327149
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8677) - you deserved it (37853)

On 10/05/2010 at 6:46am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML

#13304809
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (3084)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30688) - you deserved it (5819)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States



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