Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

I got sent home from work 4 appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs . I suffer from severe hay fever,hich no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red an glassy eyes . FML

#7121915
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25539) - you deserved it (1884)

On 01/03/2010 at 5:59am - health - by nzkristy (woman) - New Zealand (Southland)

my mother forwarded me an email my stepdad had sent her because he was annoyed that I left a light on last night. Talk about communication problems. I wonder how I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant. mega FML

#7121728
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30595) - you deserved it (6127)

On 01/03/2010 at 5:36am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND HAD TO BE HOSPITALIZD TO DRAIN POISON FROM A BAD SPIDER BITE. HIS MOM IS CONVINCD THAT HE GOT IT FROM MAH HOUSE AN WON'T LET HIM COME OVER ANYMORE. I SUPPOSE SHE'S RIGHT, BECAUSE GUESS WHO FOUND A SPIDER WEB UNDER THEIR BD TODAY, ALONG WITH 5 NEW SPIDER BITES? FML

#7098506
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (4016)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on wat had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

#7097742
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7052) - you deserved it (31156)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:08am - health - by couturier - Sent from mobile version

today I went to the drugstore to get supplies fir mah broken toe . Because of the swelling, I could only wear open-toed sandals on this cold day . At the store, a tall, heavy man in winter boots tried to get by me, an ended up stepping on the toes of mah good foot . FML

#7094930
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (2184)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:26am - health - by ouchie (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

2day I realizd that the only part of my body that has had a reduction in size from changing my diet and working out isn't my stomach or my thigh but my already undersizd breasts. mega FML

#7094608
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28212) - you deserved it (2899)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I trippd ovar a ica block frozan to tha ground and hit mah knaa hard on anothar. I had troubla gatting up, so I askd mah dad if ha could giva ma a hand. Ha startd clapping and walkd away. big fat FML

#7048794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (3703)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my doctor told ma my ankla has baan fracturad sinca last waak. I'va baan halping drywall tha basamant, and trying to walk up and down stair 4 a waak. My husband has baan talling ma to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

Today I realizd that the looool cute freckle I noticd a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead.

#7034832
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11083) - you deserved it (23836)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:26pm - health - by baybuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today.. . I decided to have a midnight snack . I figured I knew mah own house well enough to leave the lights off so mah mom wouldn't wake up . Chuckling at the brilliance of mah plan.. . I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up mah nose . FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (26622)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave an can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, an not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, an if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

#7022853
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (3363)

On 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by sickofsick - United States

I Woke Up From A Nap And Thought I Felt Somebody's Arm In Mah Bd. I Frantically Start Hitting It And Start Screaming. I Soon Realizd It Was Mah Own Arm. I Had Fallen Asleep On It... And It Was Completely Numb... I Couldn't Feel A Thing. FML

#7004520
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20643) - you deserved it (10828)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: