Dad jokes and Love: Very funny, Dad

Very funny, Dad

By Anonymous - 20/05/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 630

You deserved it 4 627

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Same thing different taste

Awkward much?

By iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 447

You deserved it 5 440

By bloom - 17/12/2008 04:10 - France

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 203

You deserved it 2 413

Good one

By bf. - 19/12/2013 02:59 - Canada - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 213

You deserved it 3 000

By jack - 23/04/2012 02:43 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 986

You deserved it 2 308

By BadLuckCarson - 12/02/2013 05:55 - United States - Muscatine

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 787

You deserved it 3 728

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 33 305

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 110

You deserved it 1 448

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 09:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 745

You deserved it 6 141

Creepy but funny

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 830

You deserved it 3 096

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 436

You deserved it 2 608

dreamering 16

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:53

Tell him: "she blows ... me"

jennifer93 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:53

wow fy gf's life...what an awkward meeting the parents dinner...

Comments

boredteenager 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 8:19

lol

carlablob 0

Friday 17 June 2011 9:54

I love your father. lmao.

strawberryspacejam 11

Monday 4 July 2011 17:44

and ur dad was too stupid to see her moving?

SecretlyEvil9792 22

Friday 12 August 2011 21:28

lol FYL.

olivercooper 6

Saturday 1 October 2011 1:56

Shit man

Ugi 26

Thursday 20 September 2012 13:02

He does sound it, doesn't he! But he's the OP's dad so there's not much that can be done.

Kiirst_mt1994 26

Wednesday 19 October 2011 2:41

imagine how awkward she must of felt, just sat there being prodded! Lmao

Truckie600 2

Monday 19 December 2011 14:14

Hope your gf has a sense of humor

Coffeebang 17

Tuesday 7 February 2012 12:39

LOOOOL

AmandaIsMyName 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 8:58

She must have been awkward. Or a paraplegic...

LemonLolly 10

Monday 19 March 2012 2:04

How rude. If I were her, i'd be like "Where the hell do you get the impression i'm a blow up doll???"

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The Top

Today, the best restaurant in our neighbourhood is owned by a husband and wife who scream at each other constantly. Everyone thinks it’s funny, so they have a lot of loyal customers. I took a date there but the screaming gave her flashbacks to her own parents, so she hyperventilated and fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 268

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 799

You deserved it 21 259

The Top

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 8 239

Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 585

You deserved it 4 348

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 376

You deserved it 3 416

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 469

You deserved it 29 170

Today, I was at a professional tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. And when I say crowd, I mean my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 333

You deserved it 2 136

Today, my best friend got engaged. To get his girlfriend to say yes, he had to agree to dump me as a friend because she doesn't want him being best friends with a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 735

You deserved it 1 598