Dad jokes and Love: Very funny, Dad

Very funny, Dad

By Anonymous - 20/05/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 629

You deserved it 4 627

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Same thing different taste

Awkward much?

By iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 447

You deserved it 5 440

By bloom - 17/12/2008 04:10 - France

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 203

You deserved it 2 413

Good one

By bf. - 19/12/2013 02:59 - Canada - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 213

You deserved it 3 000

By jack - 23/04/2012 02:43 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 986

You deserved it 2 308

By BadLuckCarson - 12/02/2013 05:55 - United States - Muscatine

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 787

You deserved it 3 728

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 33 305

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 110

You deserved it 1 448

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 09:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 745

You deserved it 6 141

Creepy but funny

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 830

You deserved it 3 096

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 436

You deserved it 2 608

dreamering 16

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:53

Tell him: "she blows ... me"

jennifer93 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:53

wow fy gf's life...what an awkward meeting the parents dinner...

Comments

TheyCallmeStacey 9

Saturday 21 May 2011 8:26

Dude thats sad LOL

Monii_Harlz 11

Saturday 21 May 2011 8:39

sounds like your dating experience or girl friend history isnt too good if he is checking for a blow up doll

DWORD 2

Saturday 21 May 2011 8:42

hahaha bet you had to repair that hole from the fork after

sk8erd 15

Saturday 21 May 2011 8:55

That's pretty ******* hilarious! im sure you got some explaining to do for your father

eff5 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 9:12

if i was you i would've asked your mom what she saw in your father

pinklady72191 4

Saturday 21 May 2011 9:46

did you then show her your dead ferrets ashes and start crying?

adelineo 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 10:02

i bet you used to have a blow-up doll fetish!! or your gf is really drop dead gorgeous. OR your dad is just so awesome!

angellovesjake17 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 11:06

Okay, this made me laugh. And what made it better was hearing a dude talk about erectile disfunction on tv? Well I have 3 things to say: 1. You might want to be glad it was just a fork and not his penis. 2. If she is ever late going to your house, CHECK YOUR DAD's ROOM! he might want a turn at the "doll". 3. Your dad is ******* AWESOME! I wish my dad was like that :)