Dad jokes and Love: Very funny, Dad

Very funny, Dad

By Anonymous - 20/05/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 629

You deserved it 4 627

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Same thing different taste

Awkward much?

By iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 447

You deserved it 5 440

By bloom - 17/12/2008 04:10 - France

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 203

You deserved it 2 413

Good one

By bf. - 19/12/2013 02:59 - Canada - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 213

You deserved it 3 000

By jack - 23/04/2012 02:43 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 986

You deserved it 2 308

By BadLuckCarson - 12/02/2013 05:55 - United States - Muscatine

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 787

You deserved it 3 728

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 33 305

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 110

You deserved it 1 448

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 09:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 745

You deserved it 6 141

Creepy but funny

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 830

You deserved it 3 096

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 436

You deserved it 2 608

dreamering 16

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:53

Tell him: "she blows ... me"

jennifer93 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:53

wow fy gf's life...what an awkward meeting the parents dinner...

Comments

Rasetsu 10

Sunday 22 May 2011 1:40

I love your dad!!!

eacync 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 5:46

Is your name Lars?

gardenwhipped 5

Sunday 22 May 2011 6:20

Response to girlfriend: Sorry honey, I'm adopted.

brunettebaby98 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 7:17

dude LOL!!!!!! i cant stop laughing!! u poor fella!

facethtcreeps 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 8:57

I love your dad lol

elizapants 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 12:06

that probably means your gf is pretty hot, so I don't feel too badly for you

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 23 May 2011 1:25

I like to make sure they aren't virgins, but I don't use a fork - that would just mean more washing up.

dansco 24

Tuesday 24 May 2011 3:36

That really made me laugh then! Your Dad rules ;)

kGoatly 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 4:13

Well was she? ;)

Vanillaxfun 1

Monday 30 May 2011 8:45

Best fml eva

Keywords

Management Work Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Education Parents Public freakouts Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, my time-off request was denied because I'd said on my application that I have “open availability.” This is normally true, except my mother passed away and I need to travel to go to her funeral. I attempted to appeal, but ended up fired for “misleading” the company by “lying on a job application.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 104

Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 74

The Top

Today, I woke up early and took my medication to help me focus while catching up on lectures. I ended up spending the whole day focused on fixing my drawer for no apparent reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 445

You deserved it 4 071

Today, after I confessed my feelings towards my long time crush two weeks ago and was rejected, he messaged me asking for a quick fuck, with no strings attached. I guess that’s all I am good for now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 207

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 954

You deserved it 6 269

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 135

You deserved it 2 670

Today, after being with the company for over 3 years, I realised nobody really knows my name. This was after my boss was walking around a new staff member and couldn't introduce me. Neither could my colleague, who's been sitting next to me for the last 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 169

You deserved it 3 945

Today, I went out with my kids to eat at a nice restaurant. While I was in the bathroom, my 7-year-old daughter ordered 15 plates of "pearls" on the menu. Those "pearls" turned out to be salmon caviar. Guess who got a 425$ bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 948

You deserved it 2 635