Intimacy: Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's... - FML

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 214

You deserved it 18 906

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Same thing different taste

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 430

You deserved it 4 840

Manchild

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 287

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 772

You deserved it 6 037

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 383

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 152

You deserved it 3 601

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 502

You deserved it 46 392

By Anonymous - 14/11/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 292

You deserved it 4 652

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Spicy

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 551

You deserved it 6 818

You tried

By Loveless - 10/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 152

You deserved it 5 694

By fetch boy.. - 05/08/2013 05:28 - United States - Bellmore

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 518

You deserved it 18 314

Next

Top comments

MilanKing 0

Monday 9 May 2011 12:01

you're lucky it was only his nose.

Fish_999 0

Monday 9 May 2011 12:01

haha u enjoyed it really!

Comments

fricknugget 3

Monday 9 May 2011 14:11

lucky dog.. LOL

eviiee_fml 3

Monday 9 May 2011 14:11

surprise ! but that's pretty funny

please_shoot_me 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 13:14

I would love to get in your pants.

oliiieee309 0

Monday 9 May 2011 14:14

The dog was like my master got some of tht ass why cant i he wamted to **** you too

theerror404 0

Monday 9 May 2011 14:49

Sorry, what does the phrase " get on all fours" mean? I'm majoring in English in my college.

loveofyourlife11 0

Monday 9 May 2011 15:36

she got down on her hands and knees

DerangedKitten 6

Monday 9 May 2011 14:51

Sorry but that's hilarious!

anerudhan 0

Monday 9 May 2011 14:51

how does it feel to participate in ********** you disgusting sodomizing Jewish communist hitler loving bastard....Jews suck

cool517 1

Monday 9 May 2011 14:56

you lie you it wasn't his nose doggie style!!

gemzroxya 0

Monday 9 May 2011 14:58

would you get herpies or an std from that :s? or even but rabies? hah

foilindo 0

Monday 9 May 2011 15:06

did it tickle?! lol

ryno2004 1

Monday 9 May 2011 15:08

your awake now!

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Keywords

Public freakouts Education Parents Mother in law Love Argument AITA Miscellaneous Fear Insects Skincare Health Cats Jealousy Work Gross Coworkers Drugs Animals Dogs Fire Awkward Scams Transportation Cars Money Bikes Scary Neighbours Intimacy

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I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 4 902

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