Intimacy: Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's... - FML

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 214

You deserved it 18 906

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 430

You deserved it 4 840

Manchild

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 287

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 772

You deserved it 6 037

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 383

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 152

You deserved it 3 601

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 502

You deserved it 46 392

By Anonymous - 14/11/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 292

You deserved it 4 652

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Spicy

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 551

You deserved it 6 818

You tried

By Loveless - 10/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 152

You deserved it 5 694

By fetch boy.. - 05/08/2013 05:28 - United States - Bellmore

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 518

You deserved it 18 314

Next

Top comments

MilanKing 0

Monday 9 May 2011 12:01

you're lucky it was only his nose.

Fish_999 0

Monday 9 May 2011 12:01

haha u enjoyed it really!

Comments

victorianrider 0

Monday 9 May 2011 16:13

I can only assume you greeted him back. If not the prepare for some territorial wars. lol jk, I bet this will get thumbed down because no one here tolerates any kind of humor

Tylerdre 6

Tuesday 10 May 2011 4:01

hey you were right haha they have no humour!

Mrnason26 0

Monday 9 May 2011 16:18

was it cold lol it must of made u jump

zniltiaC 19

Monday 9 May 2011 16:23

Cause your ass be smelly. Haha.

dcard4117 0

Monday 9 May 2011 16:28

pretty lady but is everyone from Australia

jessecax 0

Monday 9 May 2011 16:39

consider yourself lucky! at least it didn't mount you. awkward situation to explain if your boyfriend woke up and saw!

michael256341859 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 16:19

call me2563418590

cryoterra 1

Monday 9 May 2011 16:41

He was just getting to know you better :)

ringogrey 4

Monday 9 May 2011 16:45

any chance of a video of this event?

CallMeHush 0

Monday 9 May 2011 16:50

Was his nose cold?

tbrizzy 0

Monday 9 May 2011 16:50

bad dog

xTreason 0

Monday 9 May 2011 17:00

he was just saying Goodmorning :p

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 70 429

You deserved it 4 436

Today, I volunteered to babysit my niece. How hard can it be to entertain a toddler for a few hours? Turns out, very hard. Within minutes, she'd turned the living room into a war zone, with crayon graffiti and a trail of sticky handprints leading to who knows where. By the time her parents got back, I was ready to sign up for a lifetime supply of earplugs. FML

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You deserved it 359

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 29 130

You deserved it 4 795

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I agree, your life sucks 24 251

You deserved it 3 756

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I agree, your life sucks 12 322

You deserved it 968

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I agree, your life sucks 24 655

You deserved it 7 945

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 605

You deserved it 14 089

Today, the girl I love made me text my best friend how much she loved him. This because her phone died. I was at the movies with her on our date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 483

You deserved it 6 265