Love: Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing....

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 126

You deserved it 3 063

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 381

You deserved it 4 049

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 805

You deserved it 3 067

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 036

You deserved it 3 908

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 236

You deserved it 3 802

By Anonymous - 06/02/2018 19:00

Today, my best friend of 12 years traveled cross country to help me recover from major surgery. I've been sitting in the hospital by myself while she has sex in my empty apartment with some guy she met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 647

You deserved it 470

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 748

You deserved it 1 182

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 591

You deserved it 876

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 509

You deserved it 2 885

By Titi14 - 04/03/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 551

You deserved it 25 958

By N - 08/02/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 380

You deserved it 5 243

sobstory10000 17

Friday 23 January 2015 19:16

It's now time to tear up that relationship with both of them

Morning_fml 22

Friday 23 January 2015 19:16

I'm going to say what everyone's going to say: dump that disloyal bitch and find a new best friend.

Comments

RayneWolf13 15

Friday 23 January 2015 19:56

Omfg. Leave that bitch.

mrdvs31 3

Friday 23 January 2015 19:59

she is an Ass

gintwinsmoore 20

Friday 23 January 2015 20:01

what's stupid OP is why she'd take you to the hospital with her bc if your ass is hurting you know why it's hurting in most cases...Lol what an idiot she is so fyl

lvg_fml 10

Friday 23 January 2015 20:29

It doesn't say he took her or went with her.

captainsmegma 12

Friday 23 January 2015 20:12

Maybe your girlfriend was going to surprise you with anal sex but knew your big dick might be too much so she decided to pre stretch the old back door with your bestie. Yeah that's it.

doctorhook86 24

Saturday 24 January 2015 3:31

#51: A cover story like that might've been the only thing to save her

raikouninja 8

Saturday 24 January 2015 15:13

#144 I don't even think a story like that could save Jesus in this situation...

doctorhook86 24

Saturday 24 January 2015 21:06

#170: True facts, bro. Still, if it's possible at all, it'd have to involve a ton of flattery and a very naive or insecure OP.

Risea 25

Friday 23 January 2015 20:13

Well time to break up with your girlfriend, and get a new "best friend" if you can even call him that because if he was he would've never done that in the first place.

Labarynth 2

Friday 23 January 2015 20:15

I would make sure my foot went up his ass so both of them could share the experience.

buckdharma 36

Friday 23 January 2015 20:16

Op's girlfriend- Do you think it will fit? Op's friend- Fissure, fissure.

LaurenRoxsU 9

Saturday 24 January 2015 14:28

@55, Most people probably don't get this pun. But this is almost definitely maybe the best comment on this post.

martin8337 35

Friday 23 January 2015 20:17

Giggity? Depends on whose perspective it is..

GunSlinger69 19

Friday 23 January 2015 20:24

Okay, cheating on someone is one thing. But having your loved one cheat on you with your BEST FRIEND is the absolute.... Oh my god I don't even know.. Ultimate betrayal..