Love: Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing....

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 126

You deserved it 3 063

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Same thing different taste

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 381

You deserved it 4 049

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 805

You deserved it 3 067

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 036

You deserved it 3 908

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 236

You deserved it 3 802

By Anonymous - 06/02/2018 19:00

Today, my best friend of 12 years traveled cross country to help me recover from major surgery. I've been sitting in the hospital by myself while she has sex in my empty apartment with some guy she met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 647

You deserved it 470

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 748

You deserved it 1 182

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 591

You deserved it 876

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 509

You deserved it 2 885

By Titi14 - 04/03/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 551

You deserved it 25 958

By N - 08/02/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 380

You deserved it 5 243

sobstory10000 17

Friday 23 January 2015 19:16

It's now time to tear up that relationship with both of them

Morning_fml 22

Friday 23 January 2015 19:16

I'm going to say what everyone's going to say: dump that disloyal bitch and find a new best friend.

Comments

WriterB 3

Friday 23 January 2015 20:28

Anal tearing... serves the cheater right.

supasupa 1

Friday 23 January 2015 20:32

Your poor girlfriend. I love anal. But my boyfriend was actually loving about it and was gentle and kind

MRSwick2525 23

Friday 23 January 2015 21:31

Seriously? Poor Girlfriend? Did you actually read the FML?? She cheated on him with HIS BEST FRIEND!

ProfessorMctitie 20

Friday 23 January 2015 20:40

Well this is what she gets for cheating.

ezrajab 22

Friday 23 January 2015 20:42

Ouch sorry op sounds like you need a new best friend

gamernation89 10

Friday 23 January 2015 20:42

She wouldn't be my girlfriend after I found that out that's ****** up

supasupa 1

Friday 23 January 2015 20:42

Why are you all making mean comments about his girlfriend. He was the ass that hurt her. Be nice to your girlfriend

Drfunknstein 20

Friday 23 January 2015 21:02

Are you an imbecile?

MRSwick2525 23

Friday 23 January 2015 21:33

OH MY GOD, LEARN HOW TO READ DUDE. HIS BEST FRIEND ****** HER IN THE ASS NOT OP!

boostedc 24

Friday 23 January 2015 20:45

I'm sorry for you mate.

exoticwaved 9

Friday 23 January 2015 20:46

Your friend is a dick and your wife is a butthole. Seems like they're meant for each other.

MRSwick2525 23

Friday 23 January 2015 21:34

Girlfriend not Wife

exoticwaved 9

Friday 23 January 2015 20:47

Time for you to analyze the relationship. Hopefully you didn't tear up your prenup.

Luluthus 41

Friday 23 January 2015 22:31

Girlfriend - not wife. The pun doesn'twork

Death69 24

Friday 23 January 2015 20:54

Amateurs. Thinking they can simulate what they see in ****. A LOT of preparation go into those types of scenes. Anyways, sounds like your **** girlfriend(hopefully now your ex) got what she deserves in the end. As for your so called best friend...Give that dick the boot. I mean...Literally!