Animals: Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and... - FML

By Fucked - 16/01/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 551

You deserved it 40 815

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Mom hobbies

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, on a road trip my mom got out to walk her dog. Her jar of Marijuana fell out of the car and rolled across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 719

You deserved it 301

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 789

You deserved it 9 717

By marymark - 13/04/2012 01:02 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 115

You deserved it 38 986

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 2 620

By Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 145

You deserved it 1 628

Nice friends you've got there

By Anonymous - 07/07/2015 19:13 - United States - Summerfield

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 2 786

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 03/02/2014 21:29 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 553

You deserved it 6 701

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 83 189

Family portrait

By a816090 - 26/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend sent a picture of me posing with our dog to his family via a group text. Along with our 25" bong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 1 305

By rolled - 27/01/2018 01:30

Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 259

You deserved it 491

Next

Top comments

ChaosChild 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:38

Smart dog.

jim_witness 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:49

That dog is a narc

Comments

R0lling_St0ner 0

Friday 23 October 2009 4:09

dude that could be the best dog EVER all you need to do is get a pad of your own bring the dog and train him to get your pipe and bring it to you, that way when your to stoned to get up and move he can get it for you XD

guitarbeast 22

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:43

awesome, dude your like a genius

nwkegan 0

Monday 2 November 2009 14:57

More typical responses from ignorant proponents of illegalization. For the record, in moderation there is absolutely nothing wrong with recreational drug use. Consciousness-altering substances have been with humanity for thousands of years and they aren't going away anytime soon, nor should they. EDIT: Wasn't meant as a response to this particular poster. Oops.

MIXTAP3 0

Monday 23 November 2009 0:01

You don't "do weed," you smoke it.

ibanezman007 0

Friday 27 November 2009 7:14

Get a safe you idiot!!!!!!!

marycharles 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 12:53

good pup. don't smoke week dipshit

dontsmokecrack 1

Saturday 12 November 2011 17:58

Yea man, 'week' is so bad for you. 'Weed' on the other hand, is fucken great!

Bullet4MyChemaMo 12

Tuesday 9 February 2010 22:18

Your fault for smoking that nasty shit. I tried it once and the headache next day was NOT worth the high.

zenory 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 13:53

Ok. Pot is mind altering it's not that it has negative effects. it's what you do under the influence that makes it bad... Now I'm not saying drinking isn't the same... but neither is good for you

dioxyde420 0

Saturday 22 May 2010 22:23

If you got a headache a whole day after it was NOT pot. Even if you got a headache right away it wasn't pot. That sucks!

onexgun 0

Tuesday 7 September 2010 8:01

you prolly just got some bad shit.. or REALLY good shit that you couldent handle cause it was your first time

ilovefatcats 12

Friday 19 February 2010 3:56

YDI for doing drugs **** u OP

bridgette5866 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 7:20

Michael Scott. Please, please get my reference to The Office.

TapeMan_3000 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 22:35

^ this

hannahjay 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 5:19

haha epic failure! :D that's what you get for doin drugs anywayy

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The Top

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 72

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 69

The Top

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 841

You deserved it 6 390

Today, I had terrible nightmares and woke up several times because of them, as well as my roommates having a pen and paper session downstairs. I had to get up at 6:30 a.m. and sit through a whole day of team training at work, barely staying awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 112

Today, I found a DIY beauty hack online, so as I had nothing better to do and my skin is a mess, I gave it a try. I mixed lemon juice with sugar to exfoliate my face. Little did I know, I had a tiny cut on my cheek. The lemon juice made it feel like my face was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 340

Today, I dropped off my visibly-upset Uber passengers off at a funeral. I absentmindedly said, “Good luck, have fun!” as they got out. Needless to say, I got my first 1-star rating today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 1 062

Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 694

You deserved it 4 742

Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the "dead" man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 187

You deserved it 42 213