Animals: Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and... - FML

By Fucked - 16/01/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 551

You deserved it 40 815

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Mom hobbies

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, on a road trip my mom got out to walk her dog. Her jar of Marijuana fell out of the car and rolled across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 719

You deserved it 301

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 789

You deserved it 9 717

By marymark - 13/04/2012 01:02 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 115

You deserved it 38 986

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 2 620

By Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 145

You deserved it 1 628

Nice friends you've got there

By Anonymous - 07/07/2015 19:13 - United States - Summerfield

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 2 786

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 03/02/2014 21:29 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 553

You deserved it 6 701

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 83 189

Family portrait

By a816090 - 26/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend sent a picture of me posing with our dog to his family via a group text. Along with our 25" bong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 1 305

By rolled - 27/01/2018 01:30

Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 259

You deserved it 491

Next

Top comments

ChaosChild 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:38

Smart dog.

jim_witness 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:49

That dog is a narc

Comments

smartalek 2

Friday 25 March 2011 3:32

why are you smoking marijuana, stupid?

66mustangrocks 4

Friday 25 March 2011 6:58

just dont smoke weed dumbass

Link5794 18

Sunday 27 March 2011 3:59

broadwaygirl22 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 5:14

cats ******* suck

crazyrunnergirl 7

Saturday 23 April 2011 5:37

ydi for doing drugs

mind_geek 15

Sunday 22 May 2011 15:55

Weed is only healthy when you use a vaporizer. The burning of any carbon is harmful to your lungs. That's why more people die of smoke inhalation during fires than burns. Any form of 'smoking' is bad for you. Cigarettes more so because of the tar and carcinogens. Vaporizers use steam, and release little to no carbon. Also, the THC released is more so then if the weed was burned; a higher high. Btw, I myself am not a smoker/ user, I just know alot.

gatorsgirl 0

Monday 30 May 2011 2:51

stupid pothead

awesomenessXD 3

Friday 17 June 2011 5:59

DUDE I keep my stuff in a little box at the top of my closet XD and for the rest of you pot is a relaxer and can be great medication maybe the OP has a medical condition and it helps him so don't go off unless you know the whole story I have insomnia and it helps me sleep

1greatsk8er 0

Friday 1 July 2011 6:44

then why would he hide it from his parents?

amberlovesorange 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:23

and that's why you don't smoke.

Tink4me 0

Monday 4 July 2011 20:15

that's why you always put it up high, dogs have great senses so they will find it otherwise.

4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Birthday Relatable Abuse Money Social Media Scams Parents Kids School Education Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Transportation Bikes Cops Family Fight Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 849

You deserved it 7 890

The Top

Today, I've lost so much weight from depression that I don't fit into women's clothing anymore. There's nothing like trying to find dress pants in the kids section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 121

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 025

You deserved it 4 564

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 384

You deserved it 1 621

Today, I came home from work early due to a massive headache. A half hour later, the jackhammering started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 75

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 256

You deserved it 80 124

Today, while I was staying at a farm for a few nights, I got really connected to a chicken I met. It was so tame and really cuddly. I legit loved it so much. Later on, we had chicken for dinner. It was the same chicken. He also had a name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 431