Animals: Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and...

By Fucked - 16/01/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 551

You deserved it 40 815

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Mom hobbies

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, on a road trip my mom got out to walk her dog. Her jar of Marijuana fell out of the car and rolled across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 719

You deserved it 301

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 789

You deserved it 9 717

By marymark - 13/04/2012 01:02 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 115

You deserved it 38 986

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 2 620

By Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 145

You deserved it 1 628

Nice friends you've got there

By Anonymous - 07/07/2015 19:13 - United States - Summerfield

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 2 786

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 03/02/2014 21:29 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 553

You deserved it 6 701

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 83 189

Family portrait

By a816090 - 26/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend sent a picture of me posing with our dog to his family via a group text. Along with our 25" bong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 1 305

By rolled - 27/01/2018 01:30

Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 259

You deserved it 491

ChaosChild 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:38

Smart dog.

jim_witness 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:49

That dog is a narc

Comments

The_Mr_Troll 14

Tuesday 21 May 2013 5:00

You deserved it for being a druggy

Nolimit2217 32

Monday 3 June 2013 3:18

So great

sky413 26

Thursday 29 May 2014 23:26

The dog has a future career as a police dog

733yoda_fml 19

Saturday 2 August 2014 17:29

Just because u have a pipe doesn't mean u smoke it

worldclassrager 39

Monday 22 September 2014 7:52

Just don't smoke weed problem solved

TheNicce01 14

Wednesday 1 October 2014 7:23

don du drugs punk

WhackTheJackal 22

Tuesday 16 December 2014 19:50

YDI for being a druggie.

backfire10z 14

Friday 2 October 2015 3:19

SCREW YOU!!! WHY ARE YOU SMOKING THAT CRAP! IT WILL KILL YOU AND MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL. STOP IT

DildosForDayz 7

Wednesday 21 October 2015 22:20

Eh it's ur fault for being a druggie

IvanTheWolfie98 10

Saturday 21 May 2016 5:23

No sympathy, idiot. YDI

Keywords

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The Top

Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 78

Today, after getting ghosted by a company for a job I really wanted, I posted on LinkedIn, venting my frustration with companies not having the decency to send rejection letters. My current boss, who didn't know I was job hunting, saw it, and let me know I'm now on the shit list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 915

The Top

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I'd just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 205

You deserved it 85 924

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 569

You deserved it 4 773

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 138

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 761

You deserved it 5 258

Today, I bought some really expensive face wipes that were supposed to cure my awful acne. I was excited to use them until I found out my mom had used them all wiping down her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 279

You deserved it 3 302

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 295

You deserved it 4 355