Animals: Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and... - FML

By Fucked - 16/01/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 551

You deserved it 40 815

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Mom hobbies

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, on a road trip my mom got out to walk her dog. Her jar of Marijuana fell out of the car and rolled across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 719

You deserved it 301

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 789

You deserved it 9 716

By marymark - 13/04/2012 01:02 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 115

You deserved it 38 986

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 2 619

By Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 145

You deserved it 1 628

Nice friends you've got there

By Anonymous - 07/07/2015 19:13 - United States - Summerfield

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 2 786

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 03/02/2014 21:29 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 553

You deserved it 6 701

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 83 189

Family portrait

By a816090 - 26/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend sent a picture of me posing with our dog to his family via a group text. Along with our 25" bong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 1 305

By rolled - 27/01/2018 01:30

Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 259

You deserved it 491

Next

Top comments

ChaosChild 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:38

Smart dog.

jim_witness 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:49

That dog is a narc

Comments

itsTiffany 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 14:46

Get a new dog.

yoshi1234 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 19:51

ahahah sounds exactly like something my dog would do

Xenos_fml 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 23:25

that blows, try getting a pot box to keep your stuff in dogs don't carry boxs

FBIWarning 0

Monday 11 May 2009 22:18

lol kick ass dog you got there

laffytacky_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:50

wow. what a lie. even the most stupid of people would not leave their marijuana and bong out for their dog to find. fail.

Kazze 31

Saturday 20 December 2014 9:33

One of my friends went out to a movie with his girlfriend and came back home to a chewed up pipe, all his weed gone, and a stoned puppy. His stash was in a box under his bed. If that can happen, I'm pretty sure what was described in the FML can happen.

blacklite69 0

Monday 1 June 2009 5:21

LoL Bad dog...!

xoxo_carween 0

Monday 1 June 2009 14:42

oh man, the things i imagined while i read this fml(; PRICELESS. :D i give props to your doggy though! all he wants is for you to be healthy too. :) actually, scratch that. all he wants is some attention&good doggy points(:

SmokinWeed 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 6:23

Too bad weeds not bad for you.

WhySoMad 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 1:44

Weeds actually good for you it helps prevent cancer and brain tumors and people with seriouse adhd it helps a lot ive had ADHD most of my life I used to sit in class and couldn't pay attention now I smoke and it's improved my grades and attention span I'm not saying its right to smoke pot and drive or go to school high I'm just saying its becoming legal for a reason

jackal181 7

Tuesday 8 May 2012 3:33

Sure as hell isn't good for you

ProctorKProducti 5

Saturday 10 May 2014 0:18

If you have glaucoma it is :)

rainyshades 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 6:30

Smart dog LOL

blahblahblah43 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 7:12

haha wat a smart doggie lol

sexwithamonkey 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:58

is this avi

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The Top

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 364

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 914

You deserved it 44 864

The Top

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 203

You deserved it 67 168

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 815

You deserved it 42 538

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 2 155

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 980

You deserved it 2 392

Today, I confessed my feelings to the love of my life. She laughed and said, “Nah, you’re like a brother to me, I can’t see you that way.” This after I drained my wallet for her birthday, brought her flowers and comforted her when her dog passed away, and fixed her car every time it broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 1 678

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 168

You deserved it 3 859