By MJ3105 - 07/05/2009 11:36 - Israel

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 167
You deserved it 153 024
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

youmakemyday_fml 0

ughh...why would you eat something that landed on the table anyway?? wouldn't you wipe it off with a napkin...

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ozymandias_fml 0

You are a disgusting person. Even if it was mayo, that is disgusting. Who a) eats random condiments they find b) especially when splattered on a disgusting public table?

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Comments

neverland_fml 0

What the hell is with all the FMLs related to retards just licking things off tables? I'm not into the whole swine flu panic, but there are actual germs out there and they do lurk on surfaces. When something's on the ground, don't be a glutton. It's dirty. Go get some more or something else. YDI. For being stupid and for thinking eating mayo straight off the table is okay.

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Roddsy 0

eww. you have hygiene problems ;o; this FML is disgusting D;

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liquidpaper 0

A lot of you obviously have limited experience with bird shit. Sometimes it's white and has the approximate consistency of mayo. That said, OP deserved it for licking stuff off the table. An outdoor table, to boot. Have you no common sense?

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MonkeySpeaks 4

That is really gross - regardless what it was, WHY would you EVER wipe something off the table (especially a condiment! and moreso mayo!) off a dirty table. Gross.

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Blind_Ninja 0

59: Mayo left out at "room temperature" is still cool to the touch. The bird shit would have been fresh, since OP didn't notice it before, and that would have been warm. I've had a bird shit on me once while in P.E. I know how warm it is compared to mayo... I work in a burger joint, that gets HOT, and mayo is basically always cool to the touch.

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omgitsbee 0

Hahahaha this is hilarious sucks for you tho sorry.. I hope you spit it out. Did you?

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sirjohnly 0

FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Another person posted one just like this yesterday, except it was about dropping a piece of meat on the ground. You both used the same setting, clearly u stole his and spun it

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mustangsami118 5

i love mayo but..that's gross..what kind of stupid person eats something off a dirty table..def YDI

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wallythedolly 0

WHY WOULD YOU EAT SOMETHING OFF A DIRTY TABLE LIKE THAT? YDI SQUARED

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shankzilla 0

this is fake as ****, and if it isn't then i hope you got avian bird flu and darwin'd yourself out of the human race you stupid pigfucker

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