Kids: Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her.... - FML

By Username - 13/09/2010 01:38 - France

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 31 395

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Aldoch - 30/05/2012 22:41

Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 030

You deserved it 4 836

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 194

You deserved it 18 840

By Black Cat 13 - 04/09/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 135

You deserved it 3 514

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 011

You deserved it 213

By Wmsys32pr9 - 30/03/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 821

You deserved it 30 873

Not her fault neither mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 520

You deserved it 461

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 952

You deserved it 7 429

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 833

You deserved it 3 048

By jessi - 02/12/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 141

You deserved it 6 661

By uterurist - 22/11/2014 18:37 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 846

You deserved it 2 909

Next

Top comments

Mclovin_95 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:03

haha what a little bitch xD

3ddie_the_head 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:04

Smart ass kid.

Comments

R3kli3 10

Monday 13 September 2010 9:33

omg if only she would of added bitch at the end....LMAO

sk8erd 15

Monday 13 September 2010 9:35

Oh, maybe spanking isn't so good.. how bout taking away her dollies or toys or tv. Anything besides physical contact :)

Zakuraa 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:39

That never worked with me, and people putting "abuse" into every little thing is why people are afraid to punish their child. Lol. That's why FML's such as this one exists, honestly.

Vitamin_C 0

Monday 13 September 2010 13:58

Agreed. TV punishments never worked for me, I could entertain myself for hours with a piece of string and some belly lint so it was no big deal. Sometimes kids need to be smacked, I definitely did..

FYLDeep 25

Monday 13 September 2010 9:35

Now that deserves a bitch-slap.

Fufii 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:37

I love this one!! omg it's so funny!! ((:

deepbluesea 1

Monday 13 September 2010 9:39

The kid's got spunk; you are guaranteed many more years of FMLs because of her.

RavenRockaFellon 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:48

Woah, that's when you change your punishment to physical labor/exercise. Not anything major (since she's only three), maybe tell her to run a few laps around the yard, do pushups/sit-ups, clean up dog feces, etc... until she says she is sorry. I often have to watch my younger relativ, s,and when they give me sass I become a drill coach. "Dopushupsups! Sorry, yet? No? 5 sit-ups! Still not sorrRUN, 10 10 LAPS! Hmm? It's ok, I forgive you"

Zakuraa 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:56

Not everyone works with the same method, shoot, physical punishment worked well on me. lol I learned quick.

zenti 2

Monday 13 September 2010 17:32

That's a great idea, 68.

everydayisfml07 3

Monday 13 September 2010 9:49

instawin

KiwiLime 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:51

you kid will go places.

six6six6six6 0

Monday 13 September 2010 17:32

Not exactly good ones, though.

Norwegian_Wood 4

Monday 13 September 2010 9:53

Bahaha, that's one awesome kid. I have to say though, YDI OP. You really need to work on punishments with her. Obviously she's not afraid of you. Not to say that kids should be absolutely terrified of their parents 24/7, but a little fear isn't exactly a bad thing.

mz_s15 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:53

Gotta love kids. I really hope you disiplined her

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Family Fight Kids Love Relatable Students Work Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Relationship advice Cheating Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 76

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 307

You deserved it 3 970

The Top

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 976

You deserved it 4 752

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 817

You deserved it 9 834

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend for a walk. It's our anniversary, and I hadn't seen him in over a month because of the quarantine, so we agreed to meet, as long as we had the proper safety gear and were careful. On my way to meet him, I drove past a park. In it were twelve half-naked teenagers playing volleyball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 364

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 983

You deserved it 18 533

Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 044

You deserved it 5 823

Today, just like every other day, my mom has prioritized doing chores and chatting with her neighbors above even talking to me. This would be fine, if it wasn't in Animal Crossing. Apparently, a lifestyle video game is more important than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 117