Miscellaneous: Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth.... - FML

By oops - 27/09/2015 02:24 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 773

You deserved it 5 597

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/10/2013 18:57 - Zimbabwe

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 837

You deserved it 13 870

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 13 849

By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 307

You deserved it 27 703

By Simon Cowell - 08/09/2018 20:30

Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 866

By knighton16 - 17/07/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 139

You deserved it 58 637

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 543

Eww! Cleanliness!

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 456

Minty freshness

By Sergie - 04/06/2010 09:28 - Ireland

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 28 363

Snap!

By fax4voice3 - 28/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 162

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 763

You deserved it 44 191

Next

Top comments

twitchywaffles 26

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:19

Jesus will make sure you never have a cavity again

Welshite 39

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:20

Dear God, Accept this sacrifice of oral agony as I dedicate my teeth to Your great glory. Please keep my pearly whites safe so that I might one day see Heaven's Pearly Gates. Amen.

Comments

RTRFACE661 5

Monday 28 September 2015 4:24

I'll have what your having.

BeenIt 5

Monday 28 September 2015 4:40

Awesome LOL. You can never give too much 'thanks'!!!

dVwarfare 15

Monday 28 September 2015 4:45

So far, the saddest FML I've ever read

Racehorse 5

Monday 28 September 2015 6:01

How high were you?

markpatrick 10

Monday 28 September 2015 7:21

What did I just read?

spartainluv816 4

Monday 28 September 2015 14:29

Haha same

ThrottleJockey 35

Monday 28 September 2015 18:23

keep those pearly whites and you'll make it to the pearly gates.

hellphone_fml 37

Monday 28 September 2015 22:38

You must have been really sleepy, last night I put toothpaste on my hair brush and it took me too long to realise something was wrong.

DEATHLORD_fml 16

Tuesday 29 September 2015 0:29

The **** is Grace

hateredblast 7

Tuesday 29 September 2015 14:43

Dear Lord, we are thankful for the food you provide for us... bla-bla-bla... that sort of nonsense.

martin8337 35

Tuesday 29 September 2015 4:45

blessed are your teefesus.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 3 574

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 4 408

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I agree, your life sucks 1 932

You deserved it 182

Today, during foreplay, my husband asked if I found him sexually attractive. When I asked him back, after a yes, he was silent for two minutes then went into a ten-minute philosophical discussion on the nature of attractiveness. He would find me more attractive if I wasn't his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 676

You deserved it 320

Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 175

You deserved it 3 534

Today, after 3 nights of insomnia, I was finally able to doze off. My boyfriend woke me up just to ask which soda in the fridge was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 407

You deserved it 2 086

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 252

You deserved it 4 278