Miscellaneous: Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth.... - FML

By oops - 27/09/2015 02:24 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 773

You deserved it 5 597

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/10/2013 18:57 - Zimbabwe

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 836

You deserved it 13 870

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 13 849

By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 307

You deserved it 27 703

By Simon Cowell - 08/09/2018 20:30

Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 866

By knighton16 - 17/07/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 139

You deserved it 58 637

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 543

Eww! Cleanliness!

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 456

Minty freshness

By Sergie - 04/06/2010 09:28 - Ireland

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 28 363

Snap!

By fax4voice3 - 28/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 162

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 763

You deserved it 44 191

Next

Top comments

twitchywaffles 26

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:19

Jesus will make sure you never have a cavity again

Welshite 39

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:20

Dear God, Accept this sacrifice of oral agony as I dedicate my teeth to Your great glory. Please keep my pearly whites safe so that I might one day see Heaven's Pearly Gates. Amen.

Comments

MD9 19

Sunday 27 September 2015 22:51

Amen brother

feeloona 18

Sunday 27 September 2015 23:06

...so? Why is this even on FML?!

dannylee6 8

Sunday 27 September 2015 23:24

I wouldn't really say that's a bad idea

gabsaad 10

Sunday 27 September 2015 23:26

How is this an FML

gabsaad 10

Sunday 27 September 2015 23:28

How is this an FML

PrincessZelda_HR 22

Sunday 27 September 2015 23:30

How... Does one get to that level of confusion?

trepatukas 16

Sunday 27 September 2015 23:41

Better safe than sorry. Good teeth sometimes are worth praying/thanking for.

Xeivan 15

Sunday 27 September 2015 23:53

You're never suppose to go full retard OP.

EarlFug 19

Monday 28 September 2015 0:09

SupposeD. The point of your comment was stupid and meaningless, and you were incorrect expressing it.

marko1596 24

Monday 28 September 2015 1:07

Don't sweat it, OP. I sometimes would start to recite the national anthem at the dinner table (this one was very embarassing), and other times I'd take out my metro card instead of my ID to swipe through in school.

fml_kingg 7

Monday 28 September 2015 1:40

This piece of shit got through but mine was rejected. not **** my life, **** you all

1
2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Annoying Gamers Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Social Media Money Scams Education Parents Kids School Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Gross Customers Work

The Top

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 1 975

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 421

You deserved it 366

The Top

Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 289

You deserved it 47 030

Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 849

You deserved it 47 322

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 607

You deserved it 43 947

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 987

You deserved it 31 359

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 141

You deserved it 2 387

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a kinda wet feeling. When I put the lights on, I realized that my baby must have had a stomach bug and had puked all over the bed. That was when I realized that I had a stomach bug too and puked on my poor little baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 203