I think you're all underestimating kids. They can find ANYTHING ANYWHERE. My mom once hid hers deep under the couch in her room behind magazines and I still found it. Because I was a kid, I didn't know what it was, and I was naturally curious. Cut this woman a break. Kids will be KIDS!

So I take it the OP had one of those wacky ****** that lit up or something? Or had studs or vibrated like an earthquake? How else does a kid call it a sword of death let alone think it'd be fun to play with? Now whenever you use it, you can pretend your muff is some violent dragon unleashed and the SWORD OF DEATH is the only weapon able vanquish it. I also suggest making hungry NOM NOM NOM sound effects like it's closing its mouth around some poor knight. If you don't shave down there, it'll look angry, which is even better.

i remember when i was in 6th grade and me and my friend found his moms ***** in her dresser and proceded to sniff it....wow is that an fml?

OH GAWWWWWWWWD!!!! I thought a ***** was your dick or something but a sex toy? 1. Why on earth did you keep it unless your young becuase old people other than playboy prob wont used "sexy dirty toys!" 2. HOW DID HE GET IT KEEP IT SAFE! 3. Atleast he didn't know what it was. 4. Be ready cuz 10-17 think wrong and giggle bout balls and pervert EVERYTHING I only know a few cleanish kids. Like if you say OMG THAT DUDE IS CHUNKY LIEK HELL! kids will say "yeah how can he have "it" he eaither squshes his wife or she goes on top of him for fun time." never say can i have your ball (when ur asking for a basket ball/etc.)11 year olds will luafgh! lol! They might say ewww heheh no and tell their friends. Add detail like tennis ball. 5. B CAREFUL BOUT SWEARING!!!!! KIDS swear like alot! school is filled with perverted kids and swearin ones. 6. LISTIN TO WHAT IM SAYING IM A KID I KNOW BE AWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how old is ur kid tho

this might be one of the best ones... lmao but how did he get his hands on it??? that's kinda gross

LOL, u asked 4 it...

Was he slaying dragons?

now years from now there's gunna be an FML that reads: Today, my mom told me that when i was ___ years old i took her ***** and played with it calling it my sword of death. **** My Childhood

LMAOOOOOO 0ne of the best fmls(:

#57. thats just funny and sick and YDI lol this is hilarious. "when i was younger i got chased by a little boy who was waving around what i now know is a *****. FML"