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I have that saaaame problem! WDI...shouldn't be having sex before you're married. I hope you learned that lesson like I did. You don't want him around the baby anyways, if he's acting like this now, imagine how he'd make that child feel.

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  Kenetic  |  0

Marriage is a joke now (at least in American society, idk about Canadian). I think the real deciding factor on this FML on whether it's FYL or YDI is her age/how long they were together. Damn conservatives and their "pre-marital sex will ruin your life" notions.

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That has nothing to do with being conservative and has everything to do with facts. If you've made the decision to live as a married couple, then okay. My cousin just had her second baby with her man and I am super happy for them. Psychologically if you are not prepared and ready to make the kind of commitment that marriage entails, then you are not ready to be having sex with anyone. Period. I was with my baby's father for 4 years. I am now 20 and he is 22, so are you saying that it makes it okay for us to be sleeping together despite the fact that we were not married? Last time I checked, it obviously wasn't since I am now 8 months pregnant and single with no idea where he is. I understand if you have a different belief system, you will have a different idea of marriage, but I have to disagree with marriage just being a piece of paper. I believe in the one and only God who came to us in the form of Jesus and because of that I believe that marriage is a holy union of two people. Our government makes it a piece of paper.

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#57 I was not assaulting religion or any such thing, I was just stating my idea of marriage and that, unless you are atheist, etc. you probably have some sort of view on marriage that is no "just a piece of paper" #55 If that's what you believe then fine. Don't tell someone that what they believe is wrong, or that what you believe is right, that's really just plain ignorant.

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  Kenetic  |  0

The divorce rate here in America, (which I'm guessing the majority of posters are, due to their idealized belief in marriage) is 50%. Now, that's just AWFUL. America bases their marriages on idealistic views on love, romance, etc. In most other countries, it's all a BUSINESS, and both partners are perfectly happy. Again, I do NOT claim to know anything about Canadian society, but if it's anything like America, (which I doubt) then marriage would NOT be a guarantee to keep them together. I mean, it's all numbers. 50% divorce rate, 1/2 of all marriages end, despite having kids or not, so, this "YDI for having pre-marital sex!" is all bullshit. It doesn't make a difference. At all.

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I'm not saying that atheists don't believe that, I'm just saying that is where I can think of the idea that "marriage is just a piece of paper" stems from. Sorry #82 >.< #83 I agree with you, actually. I honestly think the days when marriages were arranged were much better than nowadays. I think another problem with marriage nowadays is that people are so selfish. "Do they love ME?" "Do they make ME happy?" Back then, two people who usually didn't know each other well got married, and by fulfilling their marital duties they learned to respect each other. Respect would turn to liking each other, and eventually you learn to love each other. Nowadays everyone is wrapped up in this idea of having a soul mate and finding "the one" and it's quite silly, I think.

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  beccusmaximus  |  0

I think the whole piece of paper thing is from the people who are afraid to make the commitment, like OP's baby daddy. People who preach that type of thing are usually the ones who are unwilling to marry due to a fear of legal commitment and responsibility. It's much easier to leave a significant other with the responsibility of a child if the couple was never married. Sad, but true.

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Personally, I think anyone should be allowed to get married to whomever they please. There needs to be some boundaries however in reference to marrying children, or animals, or inanimate objects, but any two consenting adults should be allowed to wed. Then they can break if off if they wish into a "Christian" marriage, a "Jewish" marriage, an "Atheist" marriage, a plain old marriage, etc. But to tell two people that they cannot legally bind themselves because of religion goes against everything American was built on. Aren't we supposed to have a separation of church and state?

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  boopityboppity  |  10

Yes, and we're just little bags of thinking water that are held up briefly by fragile accumulations of calcium. Marriage may very well be just a piece of paper to you, Captain, but it means a good deal more to many others.

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134: To someone who is NOT pro-life, the whole "abortion is murder" argument does not hold any water. It's like telling an atheist that they should believe in god or they'll burn in hell. It. just. doesn't. work. A woman has the right to choose WHEN and IF she wants a kid. if you don't believe in abortion, don't have one, but don't take away people's FREEDOM and CHOICES. (and because you are an American, I would assume that you believe in those ideals.)

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  sparta98  |  4

99- That IS what we are. I'm sorry OP. You're probably better off without that creep. He is going to be the only one suffering for this, because his child will grow up without his bad influence and you are no longer bound to some hopeless loser. If you see him, flip him off for me, okay?

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  iVereor  |  0

err yeah he should have though of that before keeping it in you when he should have taken it out. And you suck OP next time make sure he's up for the commitment duh.

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  btnhdude  |  0

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  gabryela  |  0

OP dont do child support things will change when the baby is here! trust me it gets better and its his loss, show him u can do it without him because once they pay chile support they have more rights! being a single mom is hard but so worth it!

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  Mirorbo  |  26

Excuse me? Maybe they talked about having a family beforehand, but now that it's happening, the boyfriend has decided to back out? You can't judge based on such little information.

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  samuraikoala  |  4

Than OP should have included that they had planned on having a family as it would of further helped the FML. Looks like they were just stupid and now she's pregnant. Either abortion if you believe in it, or child support if you don't. Next time cover his stump before you hump OP.

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